Em @elsilnora@octodon.social

Like I am actually very uncomfortable with all the "oh, you're trans, you must be SO BRAVE" bullshit cis people throw at me but on the other hand dude can take his TEDx Talk about PEAK PERFORMANCE!!! and shove it, I got this shit.

"What if you could do the impossible" like dude I had a SALAD for lunch today instead of a basket of fucking honey-mustard chicken fingers, eat me.

Coworkers: "Oh, why aren't you going to the motivational talk about What If You Could Do The Impossible?"
Me: I'm socially and medically transitioning my gender presentation, I don't think I need help from a straight cisgender dude on how to do the impossible, thanks.

Well we're having a shelter in place drill and I dunno how it's going but I do know we found prints of Sunset Boulevard and The Cabinet of Doctor Caligari so I guess we're all set

My mom called and told me my brother flew out to Albuquerque for a conference yesterday, and I said "Is that real? Didn't Bugs Bunny make that place up?" And she real seriously said "No! It's real!"

Then later I told my friend that my brother was going to Albuquerque and the first thing she said was "That's a Bugs Bunny place, like 'Pismo Beach'" so how about that MOM

maybe you should do something with yourself on this snow day, Emily, besides sit in your pyjamas in the kitchen eating queso dip and microwave taquitos

maybe you should shut up and leave me alone brain, you asshole, you absolute lying fuck

Whereas on Mastodon I'm not really as scared of that happening?

The difference between Mastodon and Twitter is I made that Guster joke on Twitter, Guster responded to it with a kind-hearted gif, the Guster response has gotten a dozen likes, and now I'm horrified one of them will click through to my profile and harass me when they see I'm a trans woman who wants to abolish the cops

Sometimes I get the impression that cis people will never understand The Little Mermaid

I guess I thought Guster was a J-Pop, visual kei band, but apparently it very much isn't

You're fucking right I just spent well over an hour composing a long, rambling comment to the Metafilter thread about new genderfluidity rules in D&D

Never mind, I picked the wrong day to quit reading the Metafilter politics threads:

https://www.theguardian.com/us-news/2018/mar/15/robert-mueller-trump-organization-russia-documents

Toys R Us closing is really not going to help with my recurring dream that I stumble into a really old and amazing toy store that I thought had closed.

I mean yeah, if I'm honest, I have far, far more toys than a 35-year-old woman needs, but by now I think we're all on about the same page about how the real issue with Toys R Us is it's a microcosm of how society is being devoured by capitalist cannibal ogres?

I opened the current Metafilter US politics megathread in a new tab but accidentally closed it, thinking it was a different tab. I'm going to take that as a sign to just not look in it today

Ugh it's been so hard waking up all this week. I don't know if it's the time change, or the altered schedule at work, or the horrors, or what

BEHIND THE JOKE:
This joke worked a little better over on Twitter, where the character limit cuts off my ridiculous strained metaphor mid-word; here on Mastodon, I deliberately chose to cut it off artificially earlier than necessary purely for comi

The ridiculously unfair AI in Super Mario Kart for the SNES that allows computer-controlled opponents unlimited access to attack items while I only get one per lap is comparable to the Republicans' ability to do whatever they want, as many times as they want, while I, the Democra

Snow is the Devil's bedspread

Everybody remember that International Women's Day originated from socialist feminism, because capitalism will give us nothing
https://www.teenvogue.com/story/international-womens-day-2018-the-history-of-iwds-black-feminist-and-socialist-roots?mbid=social_twitter

I just got deadnamed in a phishing attempt from the hacked email account of a friend who died last year

YOU ARE BEING DECEIVED