Em @elsilnora@octodon.social
''Thank god she didn't know what to smash''
trans woman, feminist, antifascist, d&d, books, stuff
#metafilter, #mefite
Things I already have accomplished in only the first month of 2018:
- Came out to and spent time in girl mode with many of my close friends
- Started coming out to a handful of supportive people at work
- Applied for and received my passport with my correct gender marker
- Used a public ladies' room for the first time and even had to like wait in line inside for a stall, which was TERRIFYING, but my awesome friend went with me and made sure I was okay
We're all in agreement that the primary use case scenario for keeping the joycons detatched from the Switch or the grip is so you can play video games while you have a cat on your lap, right?
Which I also use for most video game characters I have to name, like my Dragonborn in Skyrim, or when I have to title my save file in Castlevania
Incidentally, Elsilnora is just the name of my favorite D&D character: https://octodon.social/media/pq6uwzInCY0u22ScwgM https://octodon.social/media/me5JAIBNB8wpNzLkZ3M
I don't think this affects anyone on here, but I just want to note I changed my username over on twitter to match what I have on here: twitter.com/elsilnora
The old one was pretty outdated and I want more consistency, among other things
You ever have those time where you're like this conversation is extremely straight and baby boomer and you're waaaaaaay too queer and millenial to even understand what's going on and you gotta just leave?
So anyway thank you for bearing with this tootstorm as I muse about gender and stupid games, good night.
What's that you say? It's quarter to nine in the morning? Fuck, okay. Well do your best today I guess.
I like alignment because I feel like I can relate to it, and it seems less like something with an illusory "end goal" and more like something that everyone just does or doesn't do.
Like being in alignment with your gender identity is something both trans and cis people can do, or not do.
Which is how I spent most of 4th edition playing a boy half-elf warlock character I hated when I'd intended her to be a girl.
In retrospect, my post-campaign headcanon is she transitioned, multiclassed as a rogue, and took control of the Thieves' Guild from her asshole father.
I hated 4th edition. Anyway what was I talking about? Oh yeah, alignment!
And YES I KNOW not all editions of D&D treat alignment like that! My favorite, 5th edition, doesn't at all, but it DOES have some text explicitly inclusive of trans characters, including non-binary identities.
Granted that text isn't perfect and is kinda problematic, but it's something, and the point is that it's up to the player.
Plus it can serve as explicit textual support against people who try to argue other players should only be allowed to play their perceived assigned gender.
As I "align myself" properly by transitioning, I'll be able to level up, which will lead to more difficult encounters with higher-level monsters, like liches and mindflayers and Republican legislators, but I'll be more properly emotionally equipped to handle it.
"Playing" myself out of alignment with my gender identity, living with a gender presentation that doesn't match my identity as a trans woman, absolutely hobbles my irl XP progression. I gain less experience, have trouble advancing, and don't level up.
I focus so much of my mental and emotional energy on my gender dysphoria it prevents me from focusing on other aspects of my life like education and careers, which keeps me from reaching my potential.
I have a friend who suggests using the term "alignment" instead of "transition" when talking about gender presentation; ie, "I'm bringing my gender presentation into alignment with my gender identity."
OBVIOUSLY I like this a lot because of D&D: In D&D, playing your character in a way that doesn't match their alignment can result in stagnating experience point attainment, or losing XP you already have.
@elsilnora Now they're fighting a Wizzrobe. I can't tell what kind
If there's anything in this life I recognize it's the sound of the Sheikah Sensor in Breath of the Wild, and that means someone in this lounge is definitely playing a Switch
Coworkers: Was everything okay when you were alone last night after all the ladies in the department left?
Me: Not ALL the ladies left
Coworker: ...
Me: Oh uh Anne was still here
Why do people keep asking me if I'm okay today? Coworkers, pharmacist, everybody. I'm fine! Just because I am visibly on the verge of tears 24/7, why would anyone think there's anything wrong
Though REALLY I should change it to the audio of the Student Council's egg speech:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=McKR0IgCM34
Okay so I just changed my estradiol alarm to the opening theme from Utena:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xSfJ4dlSNkk
