dezmo @dezmo@octodon.social

🎶 the best part of waking up 🎶
🎶 is [redacted] in your cup 🎶

teenage mutant ninja purples

all cismen are required by law to create at least three podcasts before the age of 35

@shnuya@mastodon.social I think about that all the time

How could anyone do away with the notion of linear time and not wish to access those alternate timelines?

u suck

@dagro ughhh ikr? I realize it's a whole lot easier/faster to make phone calls to handle obligations but not when I'm already physically nauseous before I've even hit dial lmfao

@sc how else would the sample pack be recorded?

FREE Sample Pack of Wet Baloney Slaps Sound Effect

me: suddenly remembers something embarrassing I said

me: 😀

me: 🙂

me: 😐

me: yodels for 800 years 🎤😩

@vantablack I feel like this toot describes my whole life

hello yes bank can we talk about finances

hello yes school can we talk about classes

hello yes doctor can we talk about meds

hello yes phone company can we talk about me never having to make phone calls again for as long as I live ty

I'm beginning to wonder if I should just live in a waiting room

😩 running late to pick up hormone shot before dr visit

🤗 no line @ pharmacy

😩 "it'll take 15 mins to prepare"

🤗 it's in a prepackaged box tho

😩 "15 minutes"

🤗 "ok thank u" (😡)

spoon theory, not to be confused with spooning theory

look. look at this Fucker