Hello, dearies!

My new advice column, DEAR MASTILDA, is now open for business. Send your problems to me at octodon.social/@dearmastilda and I will be happy to explain to you all the ways in which you are failing at life.

All it takes to get your life in order is one -- toot? It says "toot" here. Who wrote this? That can't be right.

What? Are you serious?

Sigh. I miss newspapers.