Try to be appreciative of the work people put into hard and important things that you want to happen, or else eventually they'll burn out and won't work on them any more.
@cwebber what are good forms to show appreciation for this type of work? (i work in open source and think about this topic a lot, grateful for all opinions)
@alanapost well showing financial appreciation is nice, and etc etc
Though... in many ways the most important things you can do to be supportive are: a) actually express supportive words b) if you give criticism (which can be good, I'm not turning down criticism), be sure it's constructive... and I really mean it, actually try to be constructive... and even when you're criticizing, remember you're doing it *to be supportive*, not to make yourself look better
@alanapost I think one of the most toxic things on social media I see today is just how popular pulling yourself up by kicking others around is. Society reinforces the idea that if you're mean, you must be smart. But that's high school popularity contest bullshit.
I don't mean I'm immune to it.. But I also try to be skeptical of it when I see it, and try to tell myself to do better. How can I use my words to help rather than promote myself at others' expense?
@cwebber @alanapost
I've always understood this as being related to that when you're smart, it is easy to want to give a good 'zinger' to someone else.
However, that is too easy and generally not helpful in the long run. Which is why situations like academics and courtrooms are so stuffy. It is not that these people lack humor, but they know that if they don't restraint themselves, their communication will be nothing but a horrid stream of 'hot takes' and nothing gets done.
@cwebber @alanapost
For what it is worth, when it comes to constructive criticism, I have found that it helps to see the problem as a puzzle that needs solving, giving a stab myself at it too.
That allows you to see a problem from their side, and it really focuses the effort onto the problem and not on the awkward social question of 'is this person critiquing because they care, or are they just using me as a punching bag?'.
@cwebber @alanapost
Though I have to admit, the main thing that is a little bit frustrating with open source dev is people seemingly expecting us to be magical wizards who never make mistakes, and therefore everything we do is deliberate, including not fixing the problems people are having.
Like, that's the number 1 myth I'd like to die.
@alanapost You may wonder why in asking "how can I be supportive" I focused so much on what is and isn't helpful criticism. And that's because the weight of one mean comment, psychologically, tends to be about the weight of one hundred nice comments in a person's mind. I know it is for me.
So say encouraging things about things you value, and *constructively* criticize where appropriate, but be mindful that you want to use your words to improve the world around you. IMO that's a huge help.