Chris Lemmer-Webber @cwebber@octodon.social

Then I was in a wonderful relationship with a wonderful, supportive, spouse, and after a while I finally opened a dialogue with @dustyweb about all of this. We’ve slowly been working out our sexualities and gender expression together ever since. 7/8

But, demisexuality isn’t that common or widely discussed. It doesn’t even get it’s own letter in LGBTQIA+. It took me well into my thirties to figure this out myself. So, I decided to post this in case there’s someone else out there who could relate and is afraid something is ‘wrong’ with them. You’re fine, you’re not alone. 9/8 (oops, miscounted)

Happy pride everyone!

I’ve always felt kind of mystified by sexuality in general and never quite felt what society told me I was ‘supposed’ to feel. I struggled with relationships trying to compensate for what I was ‘doing wrong’ as a teenager and this led to some seriously warped ideas about my self worth. 4/8

I debated for a long time whether I should post this. I wasn’t sure there was a point to coming out about a lack of attraction. Especially when I’d already been in a stable, loving relationship for nearly 15 years before this all clicked. The label doesn’t functionally change anything about my life or my relationship. 8/8

I was also friends with @cwebber for almost a year before we started dating. We used to joke that we were an ‘old married couple’ before we started dating and it wasn’t until recently that I realized we basically already had a romantic relationship for a long time before we had a physical relationship. 6/8

I enjoy romance plots in books/movies/etc because I have time to get attached to characters or couples together (realizing that I was way more invested in Elizabeth Bennet than Mr. Darcy played a big role in the realization that I was pansexual as well) but for a long time I didn’t feel the same response to real life relationships. 3/8

It means I’m not really attracted to anyone until I have some sort of emotional bond and it took me a long time to put the pieces together. I have a low sex-drive, but while I do still feel attraction it just mostly narrative based rather than physical. 2/8

This is me coming out, I am demisexual.

For a long time I wondered whether I was asexual, but that didn’t feel right. Everything clicked when I read about demisexuality.

So, what is demisexuality? (Hint: it’s not that I’m only attracted to demigods!) I’ll explain below! 1/8

It's also a-ok to drop in and out as you feel like! This is a very intentionally informal gathering.

Hack & Craft, our friendly internet stitch-and-bitch (but really, any crafting is okay, from knitting to coloring books to coding!) is going to start at the top of the hour! Just mere minutes away! https://fossandcrafts.org/hack-and-craft/

See the BBB link. Hope to see you there <3