thinking of writing a 'how to adult' book to explain all the day-to-day shit that's never taught:
- who cleans the toilet cleaner (spoiler: you)
- what the fuck do you do with an old mattress
- bugs: when are they a problem and when are they chill?
- lifehack: a co-working space with a better movie selection than netflix, no membership fee, and professional researchers on location, all for FREE (a millennial re-discovers libraries)
- turning strangers into friends
any other ideas people have?
@paranoid what are the benefits of becoming a regular?
@communeva @paranoid One way to speed up becoming a regular: ask service staff how THEY'RE doing and listen. This is such a small thing, but it's shockingly rare. Showing someone that you see their humanity encourages them to see yours and that's sort of the center of being a regular: You and the other people there see each other as full people.
So true, but don't force it. If they say "good" and give you a please-go-away look, then maybe they are busy/tired/sick/etc
It will be obvious when they want to get into a real convo (ok, maybe neurotypically obvious(dunno if that's how to say what I mean)
I would need to figure out more concrete social cues for people who have a harder time with that stuff before I was comfortable recommending it)
My heuristic is that if they give a brief or canned response, that's fine and you should move on and order. If you see them a few times and do this, maybe their behavior will change.
Also, you can sometimes cue people that you'd be open to hearing a deeper answer to the question by going beyond "fine" or whatever when they ask (and waitstaff in particular almost always ask, IME). Don't go into detail, but maybe, "Been a long day, but it's winding down," or something.
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