Transgender dilemma #7883: an inevitable consequence of visual statistical learning and expertise is that men are better judges of masculinity and women are better judges of femininity. The corollary is that there is an inevitable point in transition where men judge you to be a woman and women judge you to be a man, especially around the bathroom, where category boundaries matter. If your goal is to minimise everyone's discomfort, which bathroom do you use? Any suggestions, Miss Manners?
@danielle Wherever you're safest! Seriously, worry less about other people's discomfort and go where you need to go! (Yes, I feel like my mother right now, and safety is directly tied to other people's discomfort, so you're in a catch-22, but err on the side of your needs is all I'm saying)
@clstal Thank you. I feel odd in saying this, but using the men's room feels safer. In theory it ought to be the other way round, but where I live most cis men are totally chill about sharing with trans women even though they feel awkward about "mistakenly" gendering me correctly, but I get weird vibes off cis women and don't feel safe around the women's room. So I guess I stay with the dudes for now. It's awkward but they're cool with it.