Art Delano @ardgedee@octodon.social
There are billions of people around the world who don't realize that at this very moment you're reading this profile.
@joshmillard pingbog ackpants
@joshmillard spongesquid squareward
@joshmillard spongesafe squarespace
@joshmillard spongeboba squaretea
axolotl? more like haxxalottle
@codl
Chrome: Would you like to translate this page?
me: No, not ever. [navigates to another page]
me: [clicks back button]
Chrome: NOW would you like to translate this page?
Tired: Burping
Wired: The sort of combination hiccup-belch that comes out as a chesty squeaking sound.
@waider [reverses edit, bans contributor's IP]
I'm not disappointed that there are Wikipedia entries for "squishy", "mushy", and "blarg". I'm only disappointed that the entries are about products or characters in popular media, or software. I was kind of hoping a small cadre of Wikipedia editors had been combatively constructing sourced descriptions about wet unpleasant textures.
@mwenyi Ask yourself, "If I couldn't see this, what would I need to know about it to understand why it was posted?"
For example, a picture of a cat. Sometimes you need to describe the cat. Sometimes what the cat looks like isn't as important as what the cat is doing. Sometimes what's important is that it's a drawing of a cat, not a photo. Sometimes it's sufficient to say "a cat".
@CobaltVelvet Looks like everything over 48 minutes old in my "Home" column is missing.
#introduction Show more
@elsilnora It's an inside-out salad. If you like croutons a whole lot.
@elsilnora Yeah but what about today's lunch?
Like Twitter but everyone understands you.
Like Twitter but everyone likes you.
Like Twitter but everyone is alienated by you.
Like Twitter but everyone defines themselves by their relation to you.
Like Twitter but nobody understands you.
Like Twitter but requires a deposit and credit check.
Like Twitter but posts are collaborative and synchronous.
Like Twitter but for everybody besides you.
Like Twitter but correct.
Like Twitter but with live ammo.
Like Twitter but patient.
Like Twitter but you are in a diner where your mug is stained by the servings of coffee of decades past, always almost thoroughly cleaned by generations of dishwashers. The woodgrain pattern of the countertop is worn to bare masonite in front of each stool fixed to the floor. Outside the lamplit street illuminates snowfall and old cars occasionally crawling past and the old building once full of entrepreneurs that's now a three-floor thrift shop only maintained as well as they can afford.
Like Twitter but every hour you don't post, your account autoposts "Nothing happened."
Like Twitter but all posts are footnoted.
Like Twitter but anything you post about is removed from consensus reality; yours will be the only account of its apparent existence.
Like Twitter but hashtags are managed through authority records
Like Twitter but with applause.
Like Twitter but every post is added to a blockchain.
Like Twitter but posts are given a score based on unpublished criteria; failure to maintain a passing grade demotes you to write-only status until you improve.
Like Twitter but posts are tied to tree branches in a forest in Pennsylvania.
Like Twitter but posts are queued by inverse priority.
Like Twitter but morally qualified.
Unlike Twitter.
@pzmyers The problem isn't the lack of Facebook alternatives, the problem is the innumerable fragmented Facebook alternatives. Among other things. But the fragmentation problem is critical.
GNUSocial/OStatus were more or less dormant until Mastodon provided a good UI, and so far that's only drawn in enough traffic for punditry to compare it unfavorably to Twitter. The Facebook alternative will have an even larger hurdle to cross because of FB's scale and breadth.
