Show more

I'm prepared for this harsh new world where Z80 CPUs are, for some reason, the new standard for high-tech.

Show thread

Remember this article from Vice dot Com?

After the apocalypse we're all going to need to build our own Z80-based micro-computers.

I'm not clear why.

Better make sure your soldering iron is in good shape, just in case.

Dear schools and businesses,

We don't need rambling 6-paragraph emails that stress how important the virus is.

Trim your emails down to the one sentence that says whether or not you're still open.

-Signed, Everybody

Bah. I tried to get an exception to the company travel ban and they said my travel was "Not business critical".

"Not business critical"?

I don't think they understand. I was going to play with a new robot prototype. Now I won't get to play with it.

If you ask me, that's the most critical thing that's going on.

Show thread

Turns out there's such thing as an "Ant feeder".

I guess they're probably for people who keep ants as pets, but I like to imagine that you just leave them out, like bird feeders.

Huh. I was halfway through booking a flight when I got the email that the company has pulled the plug on business travel.

Fantastic. Two years of work-from-home and the ONE time I actually have to be in-office there's a plague.

I wonder if it's possible to construct a living room such that the floor is literally lava.

Like, maybe you could pump in super chilled air to keep the couch at a reasonable temperature.

Would Covid-19 be better or worse if it worked like DS9's Aphasia virus?

If you had a time machine, would it be ethical to prevent the deaths of Batman's parents?

What about Spider-Man's uncle?

I hope everyone wrote down what they would have done during their missing hour so they'll remember what to do when they get the hour back in the autumn.

"In San Antonio, a quarantined patient left the quarantine and went to the mall for two hours on Saturday. "

I feel like there might be a fundamental misunderstanding in San Antonio as to how quarantines work.

I don't know who's responsible, but I WILL find them, and I WILL have my revenge!

I'll get in front of them in a coffee shop and pay for my order with nickles! AND A COUPON!

Show thread

For some reason, in my ward, my name was at the very bottom of the voter lists.

Everyone else was alphabetized by address, but not me.

Clearly there's a conspiracy to slightly inconvenience me.

I hope all the registered Libertarians out there are voting for Vermin Supreme.

We didn't vote for him when he ran as a Democrat, and look what happened!

Me, fifteen minutes ago : Weird how the LED on my electric grill stays on, even after I've unplugged it.

Me, Ten minutes ago : Hey, why did my laptop stop charging? Shit, my charger must be broken!

Me, now : Wow! I'm really stupid.

"COVID-19" is easier to type than "2019 Novel Corona Virus", but it's still a bit of a pain.

Can we shorten it to C19? That sounds cool.

I just made a grilled cheese sandwich with a bit of avocado on it, so I'm basically a chef now.

Also, that photographed really weird.

To the naked eye, that whole sign was the orange color you see under the "e".

But my phone saw most of it as yellow.

It showed up normal in the reflection.

Show thread

Guess there won't be any more expensive burgers with fancy fries sold in this neighborhood.


Show more

The social network of the future: No ads, no corporate surveillance, ethical design, and decentralization! Own your data with Mastodon!