I got a package in the mail today. It fell through the slot with a mute thud. By the time I reached it, it was wriggling. I was disturbed and intrigued. Had a friend sent me a small animal as a prank? Was there a mechanical device motoring around in there? Or was something more fantastical happening?

I tore open the pack, and was beset about the face by a tiny blue woman. She was like a butch Smurf. Butch in a way even the men Smurfs never managed. She beat me with little fists, and screeched.