We've cleaned the wound and sewed it up, but we like to do some further tests, if you're okay with staying a few hours longer. Nothing to worry about, it's just that we've noticed the above-average number of function keys, and the warping of the space bar has us concerned. Do you have power of attorney? Again, I don't want to alarm you—it's just that we'll need your permission before we do anything invasive. It can make words, but that doesn't mean it's aware.
• If both subjects admit they are clones, they are destroyed.
• If both subjects maintain they are the original, they are destroyed.
• If one subject concludes they are the clone, and the other insists they are the original, the former is destroyed, and the latter returned to its tank for further study.
This DMCA notice insists you stop breathing in the particular way they taught you—the rapid gasping as your face flushes and every nerve in your body gets ready for the big moment. This method is copyrighted and currently licensed to another user (you've seen them, they look happy). Find someone new, someone who can teach you a different way to inhale. Failure to comply may result in legal proceedings which will leave you struggling for air.
The Yellowstone Caldera, a massive underground volcano in Wyoming, has long threatened America's safety. In 1734, the Secret Founding Mothers established a pact with the Devil Himself: the Caldera would never erupt, so long as each year the country sacrificed some of its geography—its mountains, gorges, and plains—losing them from space, time, and memory.
The landscape used to be wild with natural wonders. But they are running out. And The Devil, with his Caldera, is waiting.
MATRIX (2017): Set in a world like ours, one where everyone has seen THE MATRIX (1999), except that afterwards everyone became viscerally aware that film was true—all of humanity is living in a simulation.
More a documentary than an action movie, MATRIX captures the effect of this revelation on society. There are three kinds of people: those who didn't care; those who wanted to escape to reality; and those who fell into catatonia.
Spoons are an object of ridicule and dissent. They are banned.
I've been stuck up a tree for 27 hours. I'm okay, but my self-driving car is freaking out—it's been frantically wiping its windshield, and flashing its lights, and the horn was blaring for so long that it stopped working. I keep calling out to the car, trying to let it know that everything's alright, but it just plays the seatbelt warning back to me. Wishful thinking, I suppose.
YOUR PERSONAL TAROT READING!
8 of Smiling Faces
12 of Smiling Faces
1 of Smiling Faces
11 of Smiling Faces
3 of Jumpsuits
19 of Smiling Faces
You will finish every task you set your mind to! But beware, the feeling of accomplishment can settle in your muscles and leave you wincing the next day. Try some "cool down" failures, like leaving the house with your shoes untied, or putting too much milk in your cereal bowl.
CALLER YOU'RE THROUGH TO DOCTOR MIKE THE MEDICAL MECHANIC WHAT CAN I DO FOR YOU???
Hi, first time-long time! I've been trying to construct a homemade scoliosis brace out of a bicycle frame and some empty cans, but I implanted it wrong and now I have a bunch of metal plates sticking out of my back like a stegosaurus. Should I try and remove them, or should I inject myself with some lizard DNA and see how far I can take this?
King Midas, from our universe, who didn't think it through, and died. Queen Midas, from their universe, who realized her mistake immediately, and set about solving the problem.
Faraday mitts that let her handle objects. Hyper-amorphous meals that resisted transfiguration. Gold-threaded fabrics that fooled her powers enough to stay comfortable.
Her life was difficult, but her treasury always had funds, and her subjects were always happy.
The soil she was buried in still shines.
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