Relationship Blah (-) 

My roommate and I are buying a house near some friends. This is awesome, because it's the culmination of our daydreaming over the past 4 years to start building closer community ties in a more long-term and sustainable way.

My partner is super upset about it, though. We've talked about this before, gone to therapy over it, and things just keep getting worse. Now that a deposit is down and contract signed, she's said for the first time that she doesn't want me to do this.

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Relationship Blah (-) 

It's really valid if she wants to live with her partner, or look forward to building a home life, or whatever. But from the very beginning we talked about wanting separate spaces, and the commune thing was even in my OKC profile when we met. I'm frustrated because I feel like I've been very clear from the very beginning about my living situation, and what I want from a living situation, and now we're 3 years in to this relationship and this is coming up as a Big Deal™️ .

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Relationship Blah (-) 

It's also frustrating because my partner is the only one who isn't excited about this turn of events for me. I feel like it's dangerous to get excited about it when other people are around, and I feel like I'm betraying her when I get excited about it when she isn't around. It's a sopping wet blanket over what should be a really good thing.

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Relationship Blah (-) 

I'm not upset at all if this is a dealbreaker for her. We all have needs and wants, and if she really needs to be with a partner that she can eventually live with/buy a house with, that's not me. And I gave her all the information she neeeded to know that years ago.

But I am frustrated that this is coming to a head now, in this way, and that her approach seems to be "I am upset about thing. I need to figure out how I can bend my own needs so I can stay with @Zuph".

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