a friend finally explained AO3 to me and now im learning true facts about Columbo from someone called cumslut69

"Teasing definitely happens because Columbo can pick up when you're needing him, although you swear up and down you don’t have those kinds of tells. Yet somehow he always seems to know when you need an extra bit of attention- his hand stroking your back, giving your thigh a light squeeze, and even a little smack on the backside when he can get away with it. It drives you mad because he’ll act like nothing happened while giving you a big goofy grin."

death of the author? more like la petit mort de l'auteur

well i've heard what cumslut69 has to say on Columbo and im sad to say they failed to make a quip about how Columbo will leave you a quivering mess because he has the uncanny ability to keep on coming back for just one more thing

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@siege One thing's for sure though, Columbo's wife is very happy with her marriage

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