𝕊𝕠𝕟𝕘𝕟𝕒𝕞𝕖 𝔻𝕒𝕣𝕦𝕕𝕖 @Tezcatlipoca@octodon.social

Is it all you can eat or does he get a per diem?!

I don't know how I feel about #nugsforcarter. What a world we live in where up can be down and down can be up... this should be so simple for me. A man with stupid confidence extorting the biggest businesses in the world for 18 million retweets to get free chicken nuggets for a year after Wendy's made a joke about it... but they have made it feel weird. ...what is the future going to be like? What is life about? What will Carter do with his inevitable year of "nugs"?

"I'M FINISHED!"

https://octodon.social/media/y7Ab0M9E1P3YNjvwt9Y https://octodon.social/media/H02MZAbyYY5XPAmja8A

https://octodon.social/media/43whx2A6RgtkmCHoQGk

That's around 2lb putting me at around 1% body-pie.

I passed the one pound mark some time ago.

More than 1/2 the pie is gone. More than .5% of my body is pie. The Cool Whip is exhausted which is more dire than it will seem from the observer's perspective. I have pie in my mouth and I must scream. https://octodon.social/media/-dAh6yeSxds6eX7bAt8

My backup drink is not quite as elegant, I say as I push a whole 1/2lb of pie into my maw. But this is the part where the heavy lifting of eating the pie gets done. https://octodon.social/media/YaleC_L2iDbw9IF-1XE

And you know just like that... I feel like I have had all the pie I could want already. But I promised you people blood...

The regret in my imagining was "haha funny regret", but I can already tell this won't be. I somehow forgot that this ametuer competitive eating excursion would not happen from 3rd person.

And don't worry, I will clean the plate up at the end. That is what in the pie eating scene they call "the devil's serving." https://octodon.social/media/aK2_2fJ573RrG3Kw3hk

The first 1/4 lb and change. Probably the best this pie will taste tonight. https://octodon.social/media/GmE9RlfPCElgfQvA19U

Me... before the pie problems. But this is just my initial form!

@HATF @Puck https://octodon.social/media/axCh9rVIUsnmvGPXx1U

"A Memphis Legend"... like for instance Ooooool' Pie Belly, the Snorlaxian cryptid with a supernaturally distended belly that walks these streets on lonely Saturday nights in a diabetic stupor. Old timers say he was once a normal man. https://octodon.social/media/KqE7INHzcRUT4jJe6mU

@HATF

Triple verified? *starting to sweat* haha thx guys...?

Considering purchasing and consuming a whole pecan pie. Appreciate any contributions to my risk–benefit analysis for this.

OK, Google
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OK, Google
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OK Google
Maximum trick-or-treat age in TN