the revenge guy watches santa put the kids in his sleigh and then when santa takes off the revenge guy runs after the sleigh and clings to the back of it and then all kinds of cgi happens while kurt russell yells in norwegian and calls the reindeer 'ladies' and then the revenge guy lands in the snow with the snow leopeard which is like a giant snow leopard and also one of the cgi gerbil elves is there and they are both his friends
revenge guy's name is Belsnickel and goldie hawn says he was a very popular elf and goldie hawn taught him potion making and kurt russell taught him to invent things but then see, Belsnickel became a teenage gerbil elf and santa had more christmas duties and less time for him so Belsnickel became resentful and then he broke the Elves' Code
I hope you're getting all of this
so Belsnickel is outside plotting against them with drones and potions and his buddy Jola the Yule Cat and he send a cgi gerbil elf up in a drone with a potion and Jola the Yule Cat breaks into the reindeer stable and fights the reindeer while Belsnickel goes after the christmas star
i hope you're getting all of this
so santa and goldie hawn needs to save christmas but oh no the elves are all hopped up on "elve's bane" which was in the potion and now they are dangerous little maniacs but ALSO some of them wind up in a giant katamari damacy snowball of elves and snow and it rolls around collecting more elves and snow
goldie hawn needs a rare artic flower to cure the elves' bane so she sends the boy out into the artic wilderness with a hand drawn map and some magic cookies including an exploding gingerbread man
meanwhile the elves' are all hopped up on elve's bane and they are having a rave and dancing to who let the dogs out
so goldie hawn distracts them with cookies so the boy can escape in the artic wilderness alone. he is like ten year olds
anyway, we got a new christmas star and he gives it to the girl to hang on to because what could go wrong with that and then boy climbs a ridiculously steep and high cliff in the arctic wilderness with no climbing gear. he is like ten
and he falls and then Jola the Yule Cat shows up and the boy throws the exploding gingerbread man and Jola runs away and the boy says "there's a new sheriff in town"
so the reindeer can't fly because there's not enough christmas spirit so they leave the reindeer on the tarmac at Logan Airport because they are at Logan Airport and Santa and the girl are walking around Logan Airport in the nineties looking to a power source for the time travel device that Belsnickel made and also they need to generate more christmas spirit at Logan Airport
that's what happening in this movie right now
the time travel device runs on AAA batteries but santa only has expired batteries so they have to buy some from the airport shop what is this movie but they only have future money so they can't pay for the batteries and the airport cop starts harassing the girl and he hauls her to the airport jail what is this movie
What in the hell are you watching? Seems like some drugs were involved in the making of this film.
mind control santa laughs at your individual will, you will sing whether you want to or not
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