i watch Earth: Final Conflict, a terrible Canadian scifi show from the 90s 

Episode 5 starts with Da'an giving a music conservatory to the people of earth and i cannot overstate how goofy they make the pronunciation of the alien language
it's laugh out loud funny every time

i watch Earth: Final Conflict, a terrible Canadian scifi show from the 90s 

William Boone

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i watch Earth: Final Conflict, a terrible Canadian scifi show from the 90s 

this lady plays a taelon musical instrument which consists of her just waving her arms around while we hear new agey sounds

it goes on for quite a while

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i watch Earth: Final Conflict, a terrible Canadian scifi show from the 90s 

so the lady turns out to be an old gf of William Boone

it's been what a couple weeks since they killed off his wife, about time to introduce a love interest

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i watch Earth: Final Conflict, a terrible Canadian scifi show from the 90s 

lady throws herself at William Boone over drinks because who could resist that goofy face i guess
then we cut to a nuclear plant
so something to do with terrorism? im guessing? lady's gonna be a terrorist?

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i watch Earth: Final Conflict, a terrible Canadian scifi show from the 90s 

yeah a truck leaves the plant with nuclear material or something and right away people are stealing it

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i watch Earth: Final Conflict, a terrible Canadian scifi show from the 90s 

sandoval and William Boone's partner press him for details of his evening with lady

the dude's wife JUST DIED LIKE A COUPLE WEEKS AGO

what the actual fuck

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i watch Earth: Final Conflict, a terrible Canadian scifi show from the 90s 

i'm not at all sure how WIlliam Boone's job works. he's supposed to protect Da'an but also he seems to be like an fbi agent/police chief of the whole city? it's very poorly explained

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i watch Earth: Final Conflict, a terrible Canadian scifi show from the 90s 

okay it's been two months apparently and at least we're mentioning it
he's probably still paying funeral bills at this point

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i watch Earth: Final Conflict, a terrible Canadian scifi show from the 90s 

okay

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i watch Earth: Final Conflict, a terrible Canadian scifi show from the 90s 

of course it isn't

his wife just died two months ago

there's no way he's ready and dating him would be really stupid

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i watch Earth: Final Conflict, a terrible Canadian scifi show from the 90s 

William Boone goes to Lwaxanna because he thinks maybe his feelings for his ex are being cause by his alien cyber mind virus

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i watch Earth: Final Conflict, a terrible Canadian scifi show from the 90s 

the terrorists do something in the subway and there's a shoot out and William Boone gets to hold his squidgun arm again

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i watch Earth: Final Conflict, a terrible Canadian scifi show from the 90s 

yeah his ex is 100% working with the terrorists

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i watch Earth: Final Conflict, a terrible Canadian scifi show from the 90s 

the terrorists take his ex "hostage" and William Boone makes silly faces at them

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i watch Earth: Final Conflict, a terrible Canadian scifi show from the 90s 

his ex pretends to bite the terrorists hand and breaks away and then William Boone shoots the guy and he turns into a cloud of cgi dots

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i watch Earth: Final Conflict, a terrible Canadian scifi show from the 90s 

partner is jelly of the ex

fun fact: William Boone's wife JUST DIED
there's probably still half a casserole in his fridge from the wake

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i watch Earth: Final Conflict, a terrible Canadian scifi show from the 90s 

William Boone's ex caresses his sexy squidgun

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i watch Earth: Final Conflict, a terrible Canadian scifi show from the 90s 

okay the partner's name is Lili im sure they've said it i just couldn't remember
anyway, Lili goes to see Augur the hacker. As you'll recall it's Augur like a prophet and not like a drill.
he eats grapes with his shirt off and hits on Lili while she explains she wants him to look into William Boone's ex
she has zero reason to be sussed of the ex but you know how women are, amirite? amirite, guys?

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i watch Earth: Final Conflict, a terrible Canadian scifi show from the 90s 

Augur sniffs Lili btw

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i watch Earth: Final Conflict, a terrible Canadian scifi show from the 90s 

good thing William Boone has that casserole from the wake in case his ex wants breakfast

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i watch Earth: Final Conflict, a terrible Canadian scifi show from the 90s 

uh-huh

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i watch Earth: Final Conflict, a terrible Canadian scifi show from the 90s 

MCI™

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i watch Earth: Final Conflict, a terrible Canadian scifi show from the 90s 

they keep the MCI logo onscreen for this whole scene

i have a feeling this show was brought to us by the good people at MCI

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i watch Earth: Final Conflict, a terrible Canadian scifi show from the 90s 

yeah Lili, when are you going to trust the shady guy who sniffed you and who you're only talking to for like the third time ever?

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i watch Earth: Final Conflict, a terrible Canadian scifi show from the 90s 

Lili finds out that the ex has an fbi file and they argue over whether that means she really works for the aliens or not

also the ex told William Boone earlier that she didn't trust the aliens

William Boone

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i watch Earth: Final Conflict, a terrible Canadian scifi show from the 90s 

William Boone makes a series of silly faces in this scene

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i watch Earth: Final Conflict, a terrible Canadian scifi show from the 90s 

William Boone checks all this photos and letters from his past and can't find any records of his ex

also his face is pretty goofy

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i watch Earth: Final Conflict, a terrible Canadian scifi show from the 90s 

So it turns out his memories of the ex were fake somehow and she was really working for the aliens but gosh darn, wouldn't you know, even though William Boone was just an assignment she just couldn't help falling in love with him anyway?

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i watch Earth: Final Conflict, a terrible Canadian scifi show from the 90s 

Ain't that just the way

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i watch Earth: Final Conflict, a terrible Canadian scifi show from the 90s 

okay

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i watch Earth: Final Conflict, a terrible Canadian scifi show from the 90s 

da'an and sandoval and William Boone go over and explain the whole plot in a really long scene

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i watch Earth: Final Conflict, a terrible Canadian scifi show from the 90s 

then William Boone talks to Lili and they hint that she was jelly of the fake ex because of course she's falling in love with William Boone

then William Boone stands in front of some green screen for a while

the end

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i watch Earth: Final Conflict, a terrible Canadian scifi show from the 90s 

the description of the next ep is "Suicides among the Amish caused by delayed exposure to "Companion Syndrome" differ from earlier cases; butterflies are found in the victims."
which sounds like a dollar store x-files plot but we'll see tomorrow

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i watch Earth: Final Conflict, a terrible Canadian scifi show from the 90s 

@Taweret

well yeah if his partner isn't in love with him what would even be the point of having her be a sexy lady

re: i watch Earth: Final Conflict, a terrible Canadian scifi show from the 90s 

@mal @Taweret EXACTLY MY POINT.

i watch Earth: Final Conflict, a terrible Canadian scifi show from the 90s 

@Taweret

Steph pls don't kinkshame

i watch Earth: Final Conflict, a terrible Canadian scifi show from the 90s 

@Taweret

I was literally just thinking to myself "ok well he's a little weird but at least he's got lines unlike travis" and then I see this fucking damnit

i watch Earth: Final Conflict, a terrible Canadian scifi show from the 90s 

@Taweret

forreal did they just casually include this dude sniffing her like it was no big deal

i watch Earth: Final Conflict, a terrible Canadian scifi show from the 90s 

@mal yep

i watch Earth: Final Conflict, a terrible Canadian scifi show from the 90s 

@Taweret

I don't know, among Cats exchanging each others scents and scent-mingling is a form of trust and bonding.

Ummm, in other words if I was in one of my Cat forms and the other person was as well maybe it could lead to trust.

i watch Earth: Final Conflict, a terrible Canadian scifi show from the 90s 

@Taweret

this is is "I really need to go to the bathroom can this wait" face

re: i watch Earth: Final Conflict, a terrible Canadian scifi show from the 90s 

@Taweret "twisting in the wind?" dude you slept with her once, you told her your wife just died and she jumped your bones anyway, you haven't suddenly become the center of her universe, wait what am I saying it's William Boone, Protagonist, of course he has

re: i watch Earth: Final Conflict, a terrible Canadian scifi show from the 90s 

@Taweret oh cool, so he never really had a relationship with this person, it was just the alien virus making him think he did? that's an actually interesting plot twist, worthy of The Prisoner

re: i watch Earth: Final Conflict, a terrible Canadian scifi show from the 90s 

@Taweret William Boone was just so... Protagonistic. William Boone, Protagonist.

re: i watch Earth: Final Conflict, a terrible Canadian scifi show from the 90s 

@Taweret also yeah she gonna die before credits roll.

re: i watch Earth: Final Conflict, a terrible Canadian scifi show from the 90s 

@troodon @Taweret Remember trying to give the show a chance when I was young and it was new, but it just felt so bland. Don't even remember any characters.

re: i watch Earth: Final Conflict, a terrible Canadian scifi show from the 90s 

@Taweret bad choice, Pretend Ex. baaad choice.

i watch Earth: Final Conflict, a terrible Canadian scifi show from the 90s 

@Taweret

the thing that shocks me more than anything is that there are five seasons of this

re: i watch Earth: Final Conflict, a terrible Canadian scifi show from the 90s 

@Taweret HOLY CRAP the fake ex survived! I lose ten bucks!!

otoh at least I was right about Hot Chick being The Love Interest because of course.

Hot Chick, William Boone's Love Interest, Definitely Not The Actual Protagonist, Who Is William Boone, Protagonist.

i watch Earth: Final Conflict, a terrible Canadian scifi show from the 90s 

@Taweret "Dollar store X-Files" seems to be where this show lives

i watch Earth: Final Conflict, a terrible Canadian scifi show from the 90s 

@Taweret

this is his "wow can't believe they made this show a real thing" face

i watch Earth: Final Conflict, a terrible Canadian scifi show from the 90s 

@Taweret

I mean they're only wrong about which company tbh

i watch Earth: Final Conflict, a terrible Canadian scifi show from the 90s 

@Taweret

well

I know I just said no kinkshaming but no need to tell him everything so soon

i watch Earth: Final Conflict, a terrible Canadian scifi show from the 90s 

@Taweret

New theory, using alien technology the aliens fuse Augur's grapes with William Boone's blood, then Boone dies under "mysterious circumstances" while in reality they use his grape-human hybrid blood cells to grow a vineyard and make Boone's Farm wine to impregnate the populace with cheap grape-human bio nanomachines for easy assimilation.

i watch Earth: Final Conflict, a terrible Canadian scifi show from the 90s 

@Taweret wait, i haven't been looking at these and why does this guy look like one or two of the main characters from enterprise whose names i can't keep straight. the captain and possibly one other guy. i don't think Archer was the captain and i'm not looking it up

i watch Earth: Final Conflict, a terrible Canadian scifi show from the 90s 

@Taweret ok from a side profile he looks more like Angel but less depressed

re: i watch Earth: Final Conflict, a terrible Canadian scifi show from the 90s 

@Taweret Oh-kay, he just went from "dump William Boone, Protagonist for this guy, he's pretty hot and he's not the Protagonist" to "EW CREEPY NOPE" right there. Hannibal's the only one who gets away with sniffing other characters, and that's because Hannibal Reasons.

i watch Earth: Final Conflict, a terrible Canadian scifi show from the 90s 

re: i watch Earth: Final Conflict, a terrible Canadian scifi show from the 90s 

@Taweret yep, Hot Chick is the Love Interest (TM)

oh and: ten bucks says The Ex will die by the end of the episode, probably in Protagonist William Boone's arms saying something cryptic, because while it would be interesting to have her hang around for multiple episodes and have a character arc or something ain't nobody on this train gettin' a character arc except William Boone, Protagonist

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