I watch Earth: Final Conflict, a terrible Canadian scifi from the 90s 

okay this show is terrible but i do like this opening shot

I watch Earth: Final Conflict, a terrible Canadian scifi from the 90s, also cw for suicide 

William Boone is doing some shopping or something when he sees a crowd watching a person standing on the roof of a building about to jump then it cuts to him being on the roof with them
so i guess no one else cared enough to go except William Boone or maybe they just all intuitively understood that this was a job for a protagonist!

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I watch Earth: Final Conflict, a terrible Canadian scifi from the 90s, also cw for suicide 

William Boone should not be up there with this woman. He immediately reaches out to touch her and she freaks out.
You do NOT just touch someone who is in crisis like this. I had to take mental health first aide for my last job and that one of the first things they teach you. William Boone is a cop though, don't they have to do some similar training? He should know this

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I watch Earth: Final Conflict, a terrible Canadian scifi from the 90s, also cw for suicide 

then William Boone has visions of the woman's past - because of the cyber brain virus he got i guess? the one that allows him to *sigh* use "100% of his brain"

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I watch Earth: Final Conflict, a terrible Canadian scifi from the 90s, also cw for suicide 

oh okay i guess he's remembering reading about her in a newpapers years ago because of his cyber brain virus
that doesn't exactly make MORE sense but it is at least more consistent with how it's worked so far

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I watch Earth: Final Conflict, a terrible Canadian scifi from the 90s 

he talks her down and it turns out she has prosthetic hands

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I watch Earth: Final Conflict, a terrible Canadian scifi from the 90s 

the narrator's performance in the intro is cheesy gold and i enjoy it every time

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I watch Earth: Final Conflict, a terrible Canadian scifi from the 90s 

we're not five secs out of the intro before we hear William Boone's full name again

William Boone

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I watch Earth: Final Conflict, a terrible Canadian scifi from the 90s 

Sweet. I love Sisters of Mercy. One of the best goth bands

🎵 In the heat of the night
In the heat of the day
When I close my eyes
When I look your way
When I meet the fear that lies inside
When I hear you say
In the heat of the moment 🎵

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I watch Earth: Final Conflict, a terrible Canadian scifi from the 90s 

so the girl leaves the hospital and William Boone gives her a piece of candy from a coffee can and then she leaves and then Sandoval (that's the asian guy) says the aliens want to grow the girl some new hands

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I watch Earth: Final Conflict, a terrible Canadian scifi from the 90s 

oh okay, well if the aliens can grow buildings then i guess there's nothing to worry about
hands and buildings are practically the same thing

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I watch Earth: Final Conflict, a terrible Canadian scifi from the 90s 

then we cut to the resistance group talking about how they don't do things

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I watch Earth: Final Conflict, a terrible Canadian scifi from the 90s 

this is the second operating room we've seen and they've both been weirdly dark
seems like medical procedures are the kinda things where you want to see what you're doing but what do i know

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I watch Earth: Final Conflict, a terrible Canadian scifi from the 90s 

they stick the girl's arms in tubs of goo

this is the monitor during the procedure

the skeleton rotates while nonsense flashes around it

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I watch Earth: Final Conflict, a terrible Canadian scifi from the 90s 

so she gets new hands, then they do a press conference with a bunch of doctors and new hands girl runs up to all the doctors to show them her hands and says "feel my pulse. this is my pulse", then Da'am comes out and new hands girl sees light around Da'an

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I watch Earth: Final Conflict, a terrible Canadian scifi from the 90s 

okay

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I watch Earth: Final Conflict, a terrible Canadian scifi from the 90s 

prediction: she's gonna lose her new hands by the end of the ep
i just know it

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I watch Earth: Final Conflict, a terrible Canadian scifi from the 90s 

William Boone

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I watch Earth: Final Conflict, a terrible Canadian scifi from the 90s 

i was wondering how long it would take the show it get to this bit where humans start building a religion around them

episode three

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I watch Earth: Final Conflict, a terrible Canadian scifi from the 90s 

i was worried nothing too goofy was gonna happen this ep but my faith has been restored

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I watch Earth: Final Conflict, a terrible Canadian scifi from the 90s 

the church guy opens his sermon in the alien language which consists of hilarious parseltongue sounds

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I watch Earth: Final Conflict, a terrible Canadian scifi from the 90s 

then he doesn't like how the congregation pronounces it so he makes them doing it again but goofy like he did
this is awesome 🤣

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I watch Earth: Final Conflict, a terrible Canadian scifi from the 90s 

oh. super. we're doing some ancient aliens shit now.

god damnit

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I watch Earth: Final Conflict, a terrible Canadian scifi from the 90s 

so it turns out all the gods ever worshiped are really taelons which William Boone discovers after going through pics of a bunch of different gods and picking out features to make a composite image of a taelon. it's deeply stupid

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I watch Earth: Final Conflict, a terrible Canadian scifi from the 90s 

have i mentioned that we get product placement for MCI every single time a character gets or makes a call in this show? because we do

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I watch Earth: Final Conflict, a terrible Canadian scifi from the 90s 

yeah new hands girls is gonna lose her new hands

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I watch Earth: Final Conflict, a terrible Canadian scifi from the 90s 

every time

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I watch Earth: Final Conflict, a terrible Canadian scifi from the 90s 

yup

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I watch Earth: Final Conflict, a terrible Canadian scifi from the 90s 

so the aliens find out new hands girl's hands are not doing so good so they decide to lock her up so people won't see they screwed something up
then William Boone and his partner go into an alley and put on ski masks and William Boone has a grappling hook so that's cool at least

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I watch Earth: Final Conflict, a terrible Canadian scifi from the 90s 

so they're sneaking into the church i guess and it seems like it would be easier to force the door or pick the lock but i guess you do get more cool points if you use a grappling hook to scale the building so 🤷

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I watch Earth: Final Conflict, a terrible Canadian scifi from the 90s 

also there's a service going on in the church and the front doors are open so 🤷

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I watch Earth: Final Conflict, a terrible Canadian scifi from the 90s 

William Boone rescues new hands girl and then puts her on tv so she can show everyone her shriveled hands

also they rescue her by just going up the stairs inside the building. i have no idea what any of the grappling hook stuff was about

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I watch Earth: Final Conflict, a terrible Canadian scifi from the 90s 

then in a shocking twist it turns out that church guy was working for the aliens all along

and then he makes hilarious parseltongue noises

srsly every time they speak the alien language it is laugh out loud funny

the end

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re: I watch Earth: Final Conflict, a terrible Canadian scifi from the 90s 

@Taweret it was about GRAPPLING HOOK. completely unnecessary but it was a FUCKIN GRAPPLING HOOK so it was AWESOME. or something idk

re: I watch Earth: Final Conflict, a terrible Canadian scifi from the 90s 

@troodon @Taweret

It's true. If I owned a grappling hook, I'd use it to do my grocery shopping.

Or at least I would try, until I realized I don't have the upper body strength to casually c;imb a building.

I watch Earth: Final Conflict, a terrible Canadian scifi from the 90s 

@Taweret wow, she’s holding it together really well considering how much pain she must be in. I know the hands shriveling and (did they fall off?) was cgi, but she’s a method actor

I watch Earth: Final Conflict, a terrible Canadian scifi from the 90s 

@Taweret
I just looked up a clip on YouTube. The alien language is AMAZING.

Somehow I have no memory of that from when I saw this back in the 90s.

youtu.be/5knDOf60hqQ?t=334

I watch Earth: Final Conflict, a terrible Canadian scifi from the 90s 

@apLundell i laugh every time they say anything in it. it's awesomely goofy

I watch Earth: Final Conflict, a terrible Canadian scifi from the 90s 

@Taweret Wait. You were right. The scene in the church is even funnier.

youtu.be/rqRrfBWZ37E?t=1264

I watch Earth: Final Conflict, a terrible Canadian scifi from the 90s 

@apLundell right? they repeat it and he's like no, you gotta do it goofy like me, here watch

I watch Earth: Final Conflict, a terrible Canadian scifi from the 90s 

@Taweret If you don't say it like you're choking to death, you're disrespecting the Taylons and their language.

I watch Earth: Final Conflict, a terrible Canadian scifi from the 90s 

@Taweret Imagine that actor's casting session.

"Ok, that's all great. Now we've got some lines we need you to read ..."

I watch Earth: Final Conflict, a terrible Canadian scifi from the 90s 

@Taweret It's such a dumb twist that the Taylons had to plant a guy to start a church.

Why do that? It's such a risk, because if anyone finds out it'll be a PR nightmare.

It would just happen naturally. Almost immediately.

I watch Earth: Final Conflict, a terrible Canadian scifi from the 90s 

@Taweret So, high level, is this series basically V?

I watch Earth: Final Conflict, a terrible Canadian scifi from the 90s 

@RexfordGTugwell yes but dumber

I watch Earth: Final Conflict, a terrible Canadian scifi from the 90s 

@Taweret V was fucking awesome to 10-year old me.

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