oh man they're gonna use green screen a lot, aren't they?

i hate cop protagonists. they're boring. they're always written the same way. they may as well all be the same damn character and mostly they are boring af

so our protagonist is a cop and he works in this generic cop place where generic cop stuff is going on and has generic cop dialogue with this other guy

so the alien is here to touch us

also his (that's the pronoun they're using so that's what imma go with) name is Da'an and they are pronouncing it as two syllables
i don't why i'm annoyed by that but i am

someone thought the name William Boone was really cool, they say it multiple times in the intro and they're said it multiple times outside of the intro

oh yeah William Boone is gonna be a mary sue isn't he?

constant, awkward use of a protagonist's full name is never a good sign on that front and now his wife is saying shit like this

i'm gonna hate william boone, aren't i?

i mean i already kinda do cause he's looks like archer so

so the assassin from earlier follows boon'es wife and rams her car and makes her crash but they couldn't afford to actually crash a car i guess so she just throws her arm up and they cut away to this while you hear tires screeching and a crash

someone just asked how long it would be before the wife got fridged...

so now that his wife is dead William Boone is free to work for the aliens and this lady takes him in her cheap ass cgi chip

oh here we go
star trek embarassed itself every time it brought up evolution and there's no way this is going anywhere good

no. they don't.

the dead guy from earlier is alive so i guess the assassin shot him on purpose because they're working together along with Lwaxanna and they want William Boone to join them

okay

the aliens want to inject William Boone with an engineered virus to make him smarter so he can work for them and lwaxanna says it also makes people obey them and she made a special version that won't do that part

i hope you're getting all this

mood lighting in the operating room why not

the part where they put the virus in William Boone's head just goes on forever

no thank you

no thank you

look at this sophisticated prop
so not cheap looking at all
(also when da'an handles it, it looks like it's falling apart)

@Taweret

as much as I don't like the character of Lwaxana, I have nothing but positive emotions towards Majel Barrett

@Taweret I was about to say "Of Course she is. It's a Roddenberry show."

... but I don't recall seeing her in Andromeda.

@apLundell
She was an executive producer on Andromeda though.
@Taweret

@Taweret You ever notice that desk-bound police detectives are the only characters who still wear suspenders?

@Taweret This is the show where all the heroes carry video phones right?

I remember the prop clearly, it's in two halves and they pull it apart and there's a screen in the middle that must have been rolled up.

@apLundell @Taweret I wear them at weddings. AMA.

@Taweret why does this look like a screenshot from a ps2 game

@Taweret

almost as cool as [protagonist name from the crabs book]

@Taweret
William Boone
William Boone
riding through the land
William Boone
William Boone
(something something hand?)

@Taweret any bets on how long she lasts until she gets fridged?

@Taweret Such an old-fashioned looking police station for a futuristic sci-fi.

They must have just already had that set laying around.

@Taweret NOT EVEN THE FIRST FUCKING EPISODE, OH MY GOD DAMN

@Taweret
I love it, a tombstone with "my wife" on it.

This show just gets it tee emm.

@Taweret
That and they can just have the image of the tombstone projected over him whenever they need to remind us his wife is dead

@violet @Taweret this way he can have Dead Wife Angst *and* Hot Sidekick Chick Romantic Tension AT THE SAME TIME. genius! /chefkiss

@violet @Taweret

Yeah, it doesn't say "Loving Wife", it says "My Loving Wife".

Let's not forget who the main characters is on this show!!

@violet @Taweret yeah, that's... definitely something. "Her Greatest Achievement: Married Me, William Boone, The Protagonist"

@Taweret "If we don't take immediate action, your people might never evolve giant foreheads."

@Taweret that sentence is complete fucking gibberish. he might as well have thrown in "nano" and a couple of "quantums." "your nanoplanet is at a quantum evolutionary crossroads quantum." there I made it better

@Taweret Yeah everyone knows it's only 10%.

@Taweret
Gene Roddenberry uses about half of a percent I think

@Taweret Hey, that's up from the usual "10 percent" figure!

Progress!

@Taweret

@Taweret no, sheep-eyed-lookin-guy, say it isn't so

@Taweret Mind control juice--got it.

@Taweret "Brain Wave Disorientation".

@Taweret "SCANNING: THE BRAIN" well good, at least they got the right part of the body. I like how the "BRAIN WAVE DISORIENTATION" section has like three different sections for metabolism, phrased slightly differently. I bet they're all filling up or whatever at different rates too. "MEDICAL THINGS: DOING STUFF"

@Taweret "AND GET OILED UP"

@Taweret

If William Boone was as cool as he ought to be, he'd respond like this:

Mmm, Mr Da'an'ie'el, why don't you take it off for me?

Or maybe he'd just cease to exist.

@Taweret "TIME TO GET NAKED, HUMANS" I tell you this alien is an interstellar porn tourist

@Taweret What do you think that bit in the lower left is?

Does their medical computer have a golf mini-game?

So the doctors don't get bored?

@Taweret I was going to say how amazing it is that at least 2 people looked at this and decided to leave it as is, but considering the rest of how this has been going...

@Taweret So these things can function as mind control devices?

That is a convincing reason to get a black-market version from a terrorist group.

@Taweret So, sort of capping from the Tripods.

@RexfordGTugwell @Taweret

The Tripods was a master class in how to do pretty solid SF television on a very limited budget.

@Nezchan @Taweret Ooh, I've never seen that.

@RexfordGTugwell @Taweret

I think they only managed to do the first two books, but it was surprisingly effective given they were working with Dr. Who levels of funding.

@Taweret "become sheep" LOLL WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN FOR ALL OF HUMAN HISTORY????