the terrorist guy has had alien gene therapy for some medical condition and i guess we're supposed to care

goddamn this is a draggy episode. this did not need to be a two parter

so archer and the gang after a way too long trip to mars just kind of stroll into the complex and immediately stumble into tucker

terrorist guy is making another speech. all of these speeches are the same speech and they are dull as fuck

this did NOT need to be a two parter

terrorist guy fires his weapon at san francisco but it hits the ocean instead

and now T'Pucker is dying

they name the baby elizabeth but she will always be T'Pucker to me

this guy turned out to be working for the terrorists

i'm sure if i knew who he was i would really being feeling the betrayal of this moment

oh no wait. i guess the real traitor was this guy

i don't know who he is

baby t'pucker is dying and phlox is really upset

hey, remember when phlox created a baby in his lab so he could raise it and murder it and harvest its brain?

politician guy made a speech and now archer is making a speech

i don't think this speech ever actually ends

it also sounds like it was written by a high school kid, it's just generic and dull as fuck

then this vulcan stands up and claps like it was the most amazing shit he's ever heard and okay, that is pretty funny

apparently everyone was super moved by archer's amazing speech

like this is kind of thing that maybe patrick stewart could pull off but not bakula, not bakula if his life depended on it

baby t'pucker actually died btw

hey remember the time they abandoned all those alien babies to die cause they were all different and stuff?

the actor playing tucker is actually okay. i sure wish they hadn't written the character as such a dick for the first three seasons

oh and then that scene sort of just peters out

the end

We made it. The last ep of enterprise. And travis gets dialogue right out of the gate

wtf happened to t'pol's hair?

also zephram cochrane is not an interesting character, stop bringing him up like he is

yay! Riker is here to reassure us all that none of this awful shit ever happened and starfleet never had a captain or crew doing all the horrific shit we've seen on this show

@Taweret Tucker's only got one hand in a sling, he could at least snap or something instead of standing there like a dope, or fistpump or something, COME ON TUCKER GET WITH THE PROGRAM THIS IS ARCHER'S HEROIC HISTORIC MOMENT.

@Taweret You're watching two episodes in one night?

You've got to pace yourself.

@Taweret WOOOP WOOOP ALERT ALERT HERE WE GO BUCKLE UP BITCHES

@Taweret oh noes his baby that he didn't actually have anything to do with making died. like that baby that Phlox made in the lab and then harvested his brain and stuck it into the body Tucker is currently wearing also died, but nobody cared. 9_______9

@Taweret

I don't remember much of anything Season 1 or 2 (I don't think I missed much lol) but showing Tucker dealing with the death of his Sister, getting sucked into the Terra Prime faction, having a inner conflict due to a genuine friendship that develops with T'Pol over time and then turning against Terra Prime would have been a good character arc.

@Taweret did he do the "slow, gradually speeding up while standing up" clap and then everybody else starts clapping and then it turns into thunderous applause? or was it just him clapping an embarrassingly long time like Citizen Kane?

@troodon the first one

@Taweret what the fuck they actually played that cliche straight, what am I saying of fucking COURSE they did, this show will NEVER miss any chance to slam straight into the wall of fuckery at maximum velocity

@Taweret It's important to have a friend in the audience to get the applause ball rolling.

@Taweret What's that thing Soval has got pinned to his chest?

Did he steal a wall-mounted air-freshener from the Men's Room?

@Taweret that mural looks a bit awkward given the recent Xindi incident

@Taweret

OK but would you really expect archer to write a good speech?

-sent from my cranial implant

@Taweret Oh, I see, they've all got silver things pinned to their chest. (Except Phlox. Looks like his is on his wrist?)

Were they translators or something? To indicate that Star Trek doesn't have magical invisible translators, yet?

@apLundell yeah i think they said they were translators

@Taweret I like how Phlox is wearing his on his wrist.

I assume that's his way of saying "I don't need this thing, but they told me I had to wear one."

@Taweret THE BUTLER DID IT

no wait

THE GARDENER, THE GARDENER DEFINITELY DID IT

[sobbing]

@Taweret Tim Heidecker?

@Taweret just imagine it's Cadet Family Guy instead. :D

@Taweret I'd feel a lot worse about that if not for, y'know, the whole "making a baby to murder and harvest its brain" thing, and the "let's abandon a whole shipload of babies to die and mutiny against the suggestion that we save them" thing. IT'S KIND OF A THING.

@Taweret
Now that you bring that up, I remember being impressed by it.

@Taweret You're supposed to feel smart for remembering, before the reveal, that "Carl Sagan Memorial Station" is another name for Mars Sojourner.

@Taweret

Carl Sagan is cool and all but is he someone that people are going to be memorializing in hundreds of years?

-sent from my cranial implant

@mal i would be very surprised

@mal @Taweret

No, you misunderstand. The Martian Historical Society isn't honoring Sagan, They're honoring NASA/JPL.

"Carl Sagon Memorial Station" is now the official name for the Mars Sojourner, even though nobody calls it that.

It's entirely reasonable to assume that the "Mars Historical Preservation Society" would clean up Sojourner/Pathfinder and put up a plaque.

@mal @Taweret "Sagan", not "Sagon".

Whatever.

Carl.

@apLundell @Taweret

Gotcha, I didn't know

That makes more sense

-sent from my cranial implant