personal log supplemental, i continue to complain about enterprise 

only five episodes left! are you excite? get excite!

and we have reached the mirror universe two parter

i kind of hate that this exists only because one idea i really liked was that enterprise WAS set in the mirror universe and that was why they did evil shit all the time

but no... :blobsad:

we just can't have nice things

personal log supplemental, i continue to complain about enterprise 

they do the scene from first contact where the vulcans land except cochrane shoots the vulcan and the humans loot their ship

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personal log supplemental, i continue to complain about enterprise 

we get an alternate version of the opening which is a bunch of bunch of stock footage followed by some truly awful cgi but it's also infinitely better than the normal version because it doesn't feature a fucking christian rock song

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personal log supplemental, i continue to complain about enterprise 

so because agony booths are a thing in the mirror universe and this is a prequel series we have to take the fanfic approach of explaining the origin of every goddamn thing

maybe we can explain the origins of how they started wearing uniforms next? that's a thing that needs explaining, right?

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personal log supplemental, i continue to complain about enterprise 

omg bakula is going to spend this whole two parter in Grr Mode, isn't he? he spent all of season three scowling and growling at people and he's also terrible at it
i know there's only five eps left but can we recast archer with a tolerable actor please?

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personal log supplemental, i continue to complain about enterprise 

mirror universe hoshi is the "captain's woman" i guess and the actress is very clearly not into doing this scene

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personal log supplemental, i continue to complain about enterprise 

it's actually almost comical how little chemistry there is
the actress could not even pretend to care a little bit

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personal log supplemental, i continue to complain about enterprise 

archer stages a coup and takes over the ship and travis is there but - you're not gonna believe this - he doesn't have any lines 🤷

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personal log supplemental, i continue to complain about enterprise 

bakula is just awful. look i know the producers were never going to let the women or the black guy do anything on this show but could we at least have tucker launch the coup instead of archer? i mean i hate tucker as a character but the actor doesn't make me embarrassed for him at least

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personal log supplemental, i continue to complain about enterprise 

travis is also in this scene where he also has no lines

how many times have they made this poor actor stand around on sets where he's just watching the white actors say their lines?

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personal log supplemental, i continue to complain about enterprise 

travis does get lines in this scene

he gets to say yes sir and congratulate archer on how amazing he is

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personal log supplemental, i continue to complain about enterprise 

hoshi make out with archer and tries to stab him but unfortunately fails

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personal log supplemental, i continue to complain about enterprise 

the actor playing phlox is way into playing mirror universe phlox

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personal log supplemental, i continue to complain about enterprise 

they capture this tholian that looks like its from a gamecube game and they interrogate it with archer in growly/scowly mode the whole time

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personal log supplemental, i continue to complain about enterprise 

also archer, t'pol, phlox, reed, hoshi and travis are all in this scene

guess which is the only one to not get any lines

go on. guess 🙃

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personal log supplemental, i continue to complain about enterprise 

trravis gets a line in this scene at least

it's this. this is his line

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personal log supplemental, i continue to complain about enterprise 

the ship's cloaking device gets sabotaged and reed says tucker did it (which i assume means reed did it) so they put tucker in an agony booth

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personal log supplemental, i continue to complain about enterprise 

can we just not?

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personal log supplemental, i continue to complain about enterprise 

t'pol breaks captain whatshisname out of the brig but archer has the ship set to not unlock controls until they get where they're going

then they torture archer. so that's something at least

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personal log supplemental, i continue to complain about enterprise 

sadly, they decide to let archer out of the agony booth so he can do a power point presentation for them

also t'pol being skeptical of things we already know are in the show is really fucking tired at this point. it was never clever to begin with. you can stop now. thank you

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personal log supplemental, i continue to complain about enterprise 

their plan is to retrieve a ship that came over from the prime universe

they also spend WAY too long explaining the concept of a parallel universe

if you do not know what a parallel universe is, there is zero chance that you have slogged through four seasons of a subpar scifi show like this one

know your audience ffs

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personal log supplemental, i continue to complain about enterprise 

so t'pol can use vulcan telepathy to control tucker

and vulcans have superhuman physical strength

but vulcans are also an underclass in this universe? how exactly?

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personal log supplemental, i continue to complain about enterprise 

okay i like this captain. i don't know his name. but i like him and his kill archer plan very much

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personal log supplemental, i continue to complain about enterprise 

they get to the ship and beam over then realize the enterprise is being destroyed by tholians and archer wastes no time in getting these dead guys out of the way of his new chair. priorities.

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personal log supplemental, i continue to complain about enterprise 

they watch the enterprise get blown up and archer makes his scowly face

travis does not get any lines

to be continued...

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re: personal log supplemental, i continue to complain about enterprise 

@Taweret wait what. WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK IS THAT OUTFIT. you can't tell me that is an ACTUAL STARFLEET UNIFORM. aqowiejrt;qoignblqrtigq;o5ijtq;io54tgjq;o45jt /frothing

re: personal log supplemental, i continue to complain about enterprise 

@Taweret it literally looks like her pants are *falling down*. that's... what the FUCK.

re: personal log supplemental, i continue to complain about enterprise 

@Taweret no wait I see there's another feeeemale character in the background with the same lack-of-uniform. WHAT THE FUCKING FUCK IS THAT BULLSHIT. fucking you can't even excuse that as "oh it's a dystopain totalitarian alternate universe," totalitarian states are notorious for trying to *control and impede* sexual display--if they allowed women to serve at all (unlikely) they'd be much more likely to be wearing, like, fucking business suit levels of cover. that's just gross. ;AEIJOIQARGN;REAG;QIRGH;IERJG;QIERJFG;AIEJR;FGOIAJER;FGOIJAERG

re: personal log supplemental, i continue to complain about enterprise 

@troodon @Taweret the original series had sexified women's uniforms in the mirror universe as well, the difference was that it was possible to sexify original series uniforms

re: personal log supplemental, i continue to complain about enterprise 

@troodon @Taweret and Bakula's uniform getting eviled up is almost as clumsy, they just added a Nazi-style strap across the shoulder and clumsily adhered a few doodads. I'm guessing they had zero budget for redesigned uniforms but surely they could have taken a page from original series and raided someone else's wardrobe to put together some future Nazi fetish ensembles?

re: personal log supplemental, i continue to complain about enterprise 

@troodon @Taweret at least the woman MACO behind Travis gets to wear real clothes

re: personal log supplemental, i continue to complain about enterprise 

@robotcarsley @Taweret yeah, I was noticing that...

re: personal log supplemental, i continue to complain about enterprise 

@troodon @Taweret btw if I remember correctly the Terran Empire has a kind of Darwinist doctrine where individuals seize as much power as they can. The main way to get promoted is to assassinate your superior, that sort of thing. And the sexy ladies were rationalized as "they use Feminine Wiles to get ahead."

re: personal log supplemental, i continue to complain about enterprise 

@robotcarsley @Taweret
*opens mouth*
*closes mouth*
*shakes head*
*sets tv show on fire*

personal log supplemental, i continue to complain about enterprise 

@Taweret

pity

re: personal log supplemental, i continue to complain about enterprise 

@Taweret probably got to have actual fun for an episode or two, heh

personal log supplemental, i continue to complain about enterprise 

@Taweret does mirror Phlox not commit genocide or grow clones to harvest their brains? Or is he waaay worse than that?

personal log supplemental, i continue to complain about enterprise 

@Taweret

this is the show the producers wish they could have made tbh

personal log supplemental, i continue to complain about enterprise 

@mal @Taweret

Honestly, I thought it would have made a great plot twist (and the show far understandable) if regular Enterprise was actually the start of the Evil Universe.

The show ending in the formation of the Terran Empire instead of the United Federation of Planets would have made one hell of a final plot arc.

personal log supplemental, i continue to complain about enterprise 

@Tau_Leonis @Taweret

that would have required them understanding that the show they made was bad though

personal log supplemental, i continue to complain about enterprise 

@Tau_Leonis @Taweret

idk if you recall that one story about how they called in Ira Behr (of DS9) fame to ask for some recommendations and opinions about ENT

he watched a bunch of it and looked at what they were in the process of making and had a lot of harsh criticism, and the producers were just like "he just came in and shat on the show so we ignored him"

personal log supplemental, i continue to complain about enterprise 

@mal @Tau_Leonis @Taweret pff, what does he know

personal log supplemental, i continue to complain about enterprise 

@Tau_Leonis @Taweret

here we go, here's the specifics

(from the Ira Behr Memory Alpha Page):

@OCRbot

OCR Output 

@mal
Around 2003, Rick Berman and Brannon Braga asked Behr for his opinion on Siar Trek. Enterprise and to offer
See ee Oke RON eC RU eeu oM Ue TU Ms eee MeO ae nee
SN ri MO MMs CNM Reel Nee a eee ACN ORNS CN eee Ra Ee
Og Ef ea ECM eee Ae COR a CN Ree SO TS
CMI Ue Ra SM Ce gece eR eee Sc
Wee Me ep ene MRSS ge Meee MR ened eMac ae
Se MD ee hee Ue RSC Ce mT Lea Le Ree Ae
Ee RN LSA ee ee MES a AOC Me MS eee MACUL
stuff, we'll think it over," and I never heard from him again. That's the whole story and it's barely a blip in anyone's lives, it
TERN eae ee Ree eo Ra) ee eC
Reve NMR MSN ast ime Ree ARC RUM Re RUS eR Ore
TEC R Roe ie1e Ce = MMC EOWA EEN AM OT Ol Cete oo meS dete ner 1C))

Error 

@mal
Failed to find post with media attached.
Contact the admin (lynnesbian@fedi.lynnesbian.space) for assistance.

personal log supplemental, i continue to complain about enterprise 

@mal @Tau_Leonis i mean why would they listen to the guy responsible for making the best trek series? what could he possibly know about it?

personal log supplemental, i continue to complain about enterprise 

@Taweret @Tau_Leonis

tbf from what I understand (since I was a tiny child at the time), DS9 is basically at the height of its popularity right now basically, and wans't regarded quite as highly at the time, but *shrug*

personal log supplemental, i continue to complain about enterprise 

@mal @Taweret

Getting into DS9 is like getting into fine wine or craft beer. You need a sophisticated palette to really understand it.

Enterprise is the Bud Lite of sci-fi. Bland and designed to be mass appealing as possible while of little significance.

personal log supplemental, i continue to complain about enterprise 

@Taweret

TOS/DS9: Use the mirror universe to give our actors the opportunity to play totally different and fun roles

ENT: Use the mirror universe to fulfill sexy/edgy nerd fantasies

personal log supplemental, i continue to complain about enterprise 

@mal
@Taweret

Discovery: Use the Mirror Universe to directly comment on the horrors of fascism and how seductive its propaganda can be, and also pull a ridiculous reveal out of their asses hinging on a biological "fact" about Terrans that makes no sense.

personal log supplemental, i continue to complain about enterprise 

@Taweret

I'm fucking tearing my hair out at the fucking crop top uniforms

personal log supplemental, i continue to complain about enterprise 

@Taweret

also if he could use a superdimensional gun to do it in a way that kills mirror archer and the archer we know and hate

personal log supplemental, i continue to complain about enterprise 

@Taweret His name is Forrest, in our universe he was the Admiral who died on Vulcan.

See, they used an alternate history to bring back a beloved character!!!

personal log supplemental, i continue to complain about enterprise 

@apLundell yes i bet so many people were cosplaying Admiral Forrest at that year's comicon

personal log supplemental, i continue to complain about enterprise 

@Taweret yeah, they probably did one of those group photos where there's dozens of people in the same outfit.

You could tell which people put EFFORT into their Forrest cosplay and which people just bought an Admiral Forrest costume off the rack.

personal log supplemental, i continue to complain about enterprise 

@Taweret You know, ... if you didn't recognize Forrest that probably means you're not paying close enough attention to these episodes to fully appreciate their nuance.

You should really go back to at least Space 9/11 and watch again from there.

personal log supplemental, i continue to complain about enterprise 

@apLundell i will definitely not be doing that

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personal log supplemental, i continue to complain about enterprise 

@Taweret
This is a sequel to The Tholian Web. The Constitution class Defiant was unstuck in time and space by the Tholian tech that turned Kirk into a ghost.

personal log supplemental, i continue to complain about enterprise 

@Taweret
Also "taking way too long to explain parallel universes" is a gripe I have about ST2k9, but it was doing it because it had to hold the fans' hands and tell them that all their favorites still exist in another continuity that this story is dependent on and they aren't getting overwritten.

re: personal log supplemental, i continue to complain about enterprise 

@Taweret yaaaay!!

re: personal log supplemental, i continue to complain about enterprise 

@Taweret eeewwwww. more literal stabbing with a knife pls

personal log supplemental, i continue to complain about enterprise 

@Taweret remember how cloaking technology was theoretical but far fetched at the start of TOS and the 2 universes have parallel technological development?

And that the last word before this episode was that cloaking technology didn’t exist in the mirror universe until DS9 season 7? (even though it did a season or two before)

personal log supplemental, i continue to complain about enterprise 

@Taweret oh, so he rates a supervillain outfit but everyone else has to cut their jumpsuits to pieces or pin ugly mismatched epaulets to them

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