personal log supplemental, i continue to complain about enterprise 

okay i took a couple days break because the last ep was really irritating
so let's do part two of this terrible klingon shit

and right out of the gate we're doing a Speed plot

personal log supplemental, i continue to complain about enterprise 

if the ship goes below 50 mph it will explode so they have to merge warp fields with the other ship, the one tucker and family guy are on,

i'm really hoping both ships explode but seeing as there's six eps after this, i doubt it

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personal log supplemental, i continue to complain about enterprise 

the grappling hook remains the only cool thing on this entire show

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personal log supplemental, i continue to complain about enterprise 

i'm eight minutes in and this is the most boring shit but, oh boy, tucker is going to reset the algorithms
doesn't that sound exciting?

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personal log supplemental, i continue to complain about enterprise 

i think this whole sequence is supposed to be exciting but it's just characters trading technobabble

actual dialogue:
TUCKER:Intermix pressure?
T'POL: Fifteen twenty seven.
TUCKER: Field variance?
T'POL: Eighty seven millicochranes.

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personal log supplemental, i continue to complain about enterprise 

so that took forever but they fix whatever the ship was doing and then we're back to phlox being held prisoner by the klingons because they want klingon augments and suddenly phlox has ethics

hey, remember the time phlox created a baby in the lab so he could raise and murder it and harvest its brain?

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personal log supplemental, i continue to complain about enterprise 

little does this klingon know phlox is perfectly happy to withhold lifesaving cures from millions of people and condemn them to death. he did that in season one because something something evolution is destiny or some shit

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personal log supplemental, i continue to complain about enterprise 

archer is all pissed because reed won't tell him about section 31
and this is one of those scenes where i spend the whole time thinking about how terrible bakula is
he is the worst actor on this show. easily

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personal log supplemental, i continue to complain about enterprise 

i'm halfway through and this is another one of those eps where i'm having a hard time thinking of things to say because mostly i'm just bored

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personal log supplemental, i continue to complain about enterprise 

this show needs to stop trying to make t'pucker happen

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personal log supplemental, i continue to complain about enterprise 

there's a really funny moment but i can't capture in a screenshot where the camera is on this klingon, then the camera pans quickly down to his fist so can pound his fist on the table then the camera pans quickly back up to his face so he can keep talking

it's hilariously incompetent and i love it 10/10

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personal log supplemental, i continue to complain about enterprise 

this one klingon lady is pam from true blood
and she was malificent on once upon a time

omg, you gusy i should rant about once upon a time
that show is infuriating
the whole peter pan thing omg i could go on for years

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personal log supplemental, i continue to complain about enterprise 

WILL fleet admiral krell extend his deadline? the suspense is killing me

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personal log supplemental, i continue to complain about enterprise 

so phlox is doing tests with vaccines on the klingons and this is the most boring shit

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personal log supplemental, i continue to complain about enterprise 

classic travis line

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personal log supplemental, i continue to complain about enterprise 

so phlox is still fucking around with vaccines while enterprise and family guy's ship fight the klingons and it just goes on and on
i don't think this episode ever ends

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personal log supplemental, i continue to complain about enterprise 

fuck this show

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personal log supplemental, i continue to complain about enterprise 

the ridges on archer are really fucking stupid and i hate them
but i will say the makeup artist did a really nice job with such a subtle prosthetic
fuck this show tho

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personal log supplemental, i continue to complain about enterprise 

so everything gets resolved and reed quits s31

the end

this was extremely boring

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personal log supplemental, i continue to complain about enterprise, holy shit the description of the next episode 

so i was looking at the description for the next episode titled "Bound" and here it is:

"In appreciation of a deal he made with them, the Orions present Capt. Archer with three alluring Orion women, who proceed to seduce all the men on board."

excuse me a moment while i scream into a pillow

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personal log supplemental, i continue to complain about enterprise, holy shit the description of the next episode, all right fuck it let's do this thing 

i have a feeling this one is gonna be offensive like whoa but it starts out boring enough

archer gets invited onto an orion ship to talk to some guy

meanwhile tucker and t'pol discuss personnel issues, like actual issues with personnel but at least it's about characters we don't even know other wise i might care

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personal log supplemental, i continue to complain about enterprise, holy shit the description of the next episode, all right fuck it let's do this thing 

omg stop trying to make t'pucker happen. it's not gonna happen

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personal log supplemental, i continue to complain about enterprise, holy shit the description of the next episode, all right fuck it let's do this thing, also this ep is gonna involve slavery and sexual assault 

so imma assume we're gonna do that thing star trek always does where slavery is totes bad unless its sexy girl slavery then it's fine and hilarious and sexy
on star trek, slaves whose main purpose is to get raped are fine and hilarious and sexy

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personal log supplemental, i continue to complain about enterprise, holy shit the description of the next episode, all right fuck it let's do this thing, also this ep is gonna involve slavery and sexual assault 

they dance for a really long time while archer leers at them

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personal log supplemental, i continue to complain about enterprise, holy shit the description of the next episode, all right fuck it let's do this thing, also this ep is gonna involve slavery and sexual assault 

so the orion guy tells archer he has found these super huge deposits of expense ore and but he can't mine them so he'll give archer the coordinates in exchange for a cut of profits

and isn't this the setup to a classic con?

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personal log supplemental, i continue to complain about enterprise, holy shit the description of the next episode, all right fuck it let's do this thing, also this ep is gonna involve slavery and sexual assault 

the orion guy insisted that archer except a gift and he 'couldn't refuse' because they can get lots of ore later maybe

the gift is sex slaves btw

starfleet is cool with trading in sex slaves if they can get ore

also archer explains all this to t'pol with a shit eating grin on his face

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personal log supplemental, i continue to complain about enterprise, holy shit the description of the next episode, all right fuck it let's do this thing, also this ep is gonna involve slavery and sexual assault 

yeah, i thought that too, t'pol but you see, these are sexy girl slaves who are mainly for raping that star trek has traditionally been cool with or outright treated as a joke so

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personal log supplemental, i continue to complain about enterprise, holy shit the description of the next episode, all right fuck it let's do this thing, also this ep is gonna involve slavery and sexual assault 

so travis and reed are so horny for the sex slaves that they are in the gym trying to exercise away the horny

i didn't make that up, that's what this actual scene is

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personal log supplemental, i continue to complain about enterprise, holy shit the description of the next episode, all right fuck it let's do this thing, also this ep is gonna involve slavery and sexual assault 

okay my browser crashed there for a sec presumably because my comp didn't want to see any more of this ep

anyway, hoshi and other women start getting headaches, phlox accuses her of being jealous of the sex slaves and then he collapses

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personal log supplemental, i continue to complain about enterprise, holy shit the description of the next episode, all right fuck it let's do this thing, also this ep is gonna involve slavery and sexual assault 

okay this is weird

tucker is only guy on the ship not being super gross. tucker. tucker is not being gross

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personal log supplemental, i continue to complain about enterprise, holy shit the description of the next episode, all right fuck it let's do this thing, also this ep is gonna involve slavery and sexual assault 

archer is making out with a woman who was given to him as a sex slave

that's a thing that's happening

oh but see it's fine because she said she wants to and - what do you mean there's no way she's in a position to give meaningful consent? meaningful consent?what's that?

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personal log supplemental, i continue to complain about enterprise, holy shit the description of the next episode, all right fuck it let's do this thing, also this ep is gonna involve slavery and sexual assault 

i mean look, i get that they're setting up that the sex slaves are doing some kind of telepathic mind control and that's why the women are getting headaches and tucker is probably immune because something something t'pol mindmeld

BUT this is still crazy gross

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personal log supplemental, i continue to complain about enterprise, holy shit the description of the next episode, all right fuck it let's do this thing, also this ep is gonna involve slavery and sexual assault 

and it's gross for a few reasons, first of all this isn't even the first time this show has done a sex worker as predator story and that was a crazy gross ep

but also this ep doesn't exist in a vacuum. it exists within a context of star trek treating sex slavery as a joke and/or sexy fun

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personal log supplemental, i continue to complain about enterprise, holy shit the description of the next episode, all right fuck it let's do this thing, also this ep is gonna involve slavery and sexual assault 

so archer emerges from his make out sess sweaty and staggering around and he orders the crew to blow up a helpless ship that fired at them with really weak weapons

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personal log supplemental, i continue to complain about enterprise, holy shit the description of the next episode, all right fuck it let's do this thing, also this ep is gonna involve slavery and sexual assault 

so a guy in engineering that we don't know has sex with and of the slaves and then he sabotages the ship

it's super weird that tucker is the non-asshole in this ep

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personal log supplemental, i continue to complain about enterprise, holy shit the description of the next episode, all right fuck it let's do this thing, also this ep is gonna involve slavery and sexual assault 

so yeah, the sex slaves are controlling all the men with their sexy pheromones

i mean i could rant about all the misogynist narratives that taps into or how hey, it's weird everyone on this ship is heterosexual, like literally everyone

but what even is the point?

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personal log supplemental, i continue to complain about enterprise, holy shit the description of the next episode, all right fuck it let's do this thing, also this ep is gonna involve slavery and sexual assault 

they lock up the slaves and then they leave this sweaty guy to guard them even though he's clearly affected and archer almost just released them

we've seen women macos on the ship. why the fuck hell wouldn't you station one of them to guard? this is so fucking stupid

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personal log supplemental, i continue to complain about enterprise, holy shit the description of the next episode, all right fuck it let's do this thing, also this ep is gonna involve slavery and sexual assault 

so tucker is immune because he and t'pol have a vulcan mating psychic bond

a t'pucker bond if you will

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personal log supplemental, i continue to complain about enterprise, holy shit the description of the next episode, all right fuck it let's do this thing, also this ep is gonna involve slavery and sexual assault 

so it turns out the orion syndicate wants to kill archer

good

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personal log supplemental, i continue to complain about enterprise, holy shit the description of the next episode, all right fuck it let's do this thing, also this ep is gonna involve slavery and sexual assault 

okay so the Big Twist is the women are really using their sexy lady pheromones to enslave their men

except making the sex slaves predatory is NOT a good way to fix all the grossness up this point as it plays into a many a gross misogynist narrative

fuck, this. show.

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personal log supplemental, i continue to complain about enterprise, holy shit the description of the next episode, all right fuck it let's do this thing, also this ep is gonna involve slavery and sexual assault 

oh What A Surprise the sweaty guy let them out there was no way they could have avoided that

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personal log supplemental, i continue to complain about enterprise, holy shit the description of the next episode, all right fuck it let's do this thing, also this ep is gonna involve slavery and sexual assault 

so you might think that t'pol and hoshi would have to take charge and save the day in this scenario but haha no, they're women

tucker shows up to save the day

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personal log supplemental, i continue to complain about enterprise, holy shit the description of the next episode, all right fuck it let's do this thing, also this ep is gonna involve slavery and sexual assault 

STOP TRYING TO MAKE T'PUCKER HAPPEN

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personal log supplemental, i continue to complain about enterprise, holy shit the description of the next episode, all right fuck it let's do this thing, also this ep is gonna involve slavery and sexual assault 

🤢

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personal log supplemental, i continue to complain about enterprise, holy shit the description of the next episode, all right fuck it let's do this thing, also this ep is gonna involve slavery and sexual assault 

so anyway they send the orions back and then the last few minutes are this t'pucker grossness

the end

this was truly awful in every way

hey remember ds9? that was a good show. i like that show.

i don't like this show. it's bad

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re: personal log supplemental, i continue to complain about enterprise, holy shit the description of the next episode, all right fuck it let's do this thing, also this ep is gonna involve slavery and sexual assault 

@Taweret and *of course* the evil murderous Orion slave-dealing guy is fat.

basically this episode takes every possible chance to be terrible and gleefully ROLLS IN IT.

re: personal log supplemental, i continue to complain about enterprise, holy shit the description of the next episode, all right fuck it let's do this thing, also this ep is gonna involve slavery and sexual assault 

@troodon yes, see that's how you know he's decadent and doesn't have a good protestant work ethic like goodly people

personal log supplemental, i continue to complain about enterprise, holy shit the description of the next episode, all right fuck it let's do this thing, also this ep is gonna involve slavery and sexual assault 

@Taweret

they are t'puckered up

personal log supplemental, i continue to complain about enterprise, holy shit the description of the next episode, all right fuck it let's do this thing, also this ep is gonna involve slavery and sexual assault 

@Taweret You know who I feel bad for?

The captain of the other NX ship.

She thought she was going to get this skilled, experienced engineer, but nah. He was just going through some stuff, he doesn't ACTUALLY want to switch ships.

personal log supplemental, i continue to complain about enterprise, holy shit the description of the next episode, all right fuck it let's do this thing, also this ep is gonna involve slavery and sexual assault 

@Taweret When you watch these episodes, do you use Netflix's "Skip Into" button?

personal log supplemental, i continue to complain about enterprise, holy shit the description of the next episode, all right fuck it let's do this thing, also this ep is gonna involve slavery and sexual assault 

@apLundell I switched to Amazon prime actually cause it streams at a higher resolution in browser

personal log supplemental, i continue to complain about enterprise, holy shit the description of the next episode, all right fuck it let's do this thing, also this ep is gonna involve slavery and sexual assault 

@apLundell but yes I skip the intro

personal log supplemental, i continue to complain about enterprise, holy shit the description of the next episode, all right fuck it let's do this thing, also this ep is gonna involve slavery and sexual assault 

@Taweret Just in case you haven't seen it yet : Probably best not to skip the intro next episode.

personal log supplemental, i continue to complain about enterprise, holy shit the description of the next episode, all right fuck it let's do this thing, also this ep is gonna involve slavery and sexual assault 

@apLundell okay

personal log supplemental, i continue to complain about enterprise, holy shit the description of the next episode, all right fuck it let's do this thing, also this ep is gonna involve slavery and sexual assault 

@Taweret

god fuck that episode, and fuck that show even if it has a ton of jeffrey combs in it

re: personal log supplemental, i continue to complain about enterprise, holy shit the description of the next episode, all right fuck it let's do this thing, also this ep is gonna involve slavery and sexual assault 

@Taweret well y'know women are the same all over the galaxy, they probably sided with the Orion sex slave(r) (whatever) women because they're basically the same

re: personal log supplemental, i continue to complain about enterprise, holy shit the description of the next episode, all right fuck it let's do this thing, also this ep is gonna involve slavery and sexual assault 

@troodon yeah see and sex slaves are totally the ones in control because of the boners they cause

that's how that works

re: personal log supplemental, i continue to complain about enterprise, holy shit the description of the next episode, all right fuck it let's do this thing, also this ep is gonna involve slavery and sexual assault 

@Taweret
/headdesk
/headdesk
/headdesk
/headdesk

personal log supplemental, i continue to complain about enterprise, holy shit the description of the next episode, all right fuck it let's do this thing, also this ep is gonna involve slavery and sexual assault 

@Taweret
Episode fails at the logic demonstrated by TAS:Mudd's Passion.

personal log supplemental, i continue to complain about enterprise, holy shit the description of the next episode, all right fuck it let's do this thing, also this ep is gonna involve slavery and sexual assault 

@Taweret
Wait, no, I was thinking of The Lorelai Signal, I think. All the menfolk were comprised by the sexy sex women and Uhura looked around and said, "guess I'm the highest ranking person in their right mind right now."

personal log supplemental, i continue to complain about enterprise, holy shit the description of the next episode, all right fuck it let's do this thing, also this ep is gonna involve slavery and sexual assault 

@Taweret ok, so when the Orions were trying to sell T’Pol as a sex slave a few episodes ago was she actually controlling them with her pheromones too? She forced the Orions to kidnap her then sell her at an auction? Is that how it worked?

That one scene earlier said that all women are the same so yes?

personal log supplemental, i continue to complain about enterprise, holy shit the description of the next episode, all right fuck it let's do this thing, also this ep is gonna involve slavery and sexual assault 

@SelfsameSynonym i assume so because you see sex workers are really the ones in control because of the boners they cause and also because enterprise is written by a team of fourteen year old incels

personal log supplemental, i continue to complain about enterprise, holy shit the description of the next episode, all right fuck it let's do this thing, also this ep is gonna involve slavery and sexual assault 

@Taweret team of fourteen year old incels and their creepy uncle Rick

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