TQ☄️ @TQ@octodon.social

And yeah, my "stuff" I did in the past didn't normally try to be art. But that is okay. That's part of the holding back thing, and I need to stop holding back. If art happens, fine. If not, I've at least freed myself of pressure and problematic thoughts.

I've been holding back, haven't had the courage to try hard enough. I've always needed that "it's not art, don't judge!" place to hide myself in.

Now I hate that place, that fear, these thoughts. The constant need to reaffirm myself. To explain myself, to please whatever you expected from me. I'm full of anger and I'm not holding back any more.

Angry Art incoming.

I've a proposition to paint a portrait for a feminist exhibition. I'm very excited about it, I've never really exhibited my stuff.

And now I realize that I never dared to call myself an artist, never considered or called my "drawings", "paintings", "stuff" art. I'm a bit angry at myself now, because who is the judge here? Who is holding me back?

Just me and my fear, and I'm SO over it!

I've just lost patience with my fear.

(This is going on a t-shirt, because of course it is. And who doesn't need selfcare Spock?

In fact, I'm planning to paint the whole original crew heavily chilling out.) #startrek

TFW you're painting Spock and he suddenly just chills out with a cup of tea. 🖖 🤘 Special thx to @rottenmeier

(cont.) Then there's always a cheap spray bottle with water, because I'm a lazy person who hates to wet the paper with the brush, and it has the additional benefit that I can keep areas wet for longer periods of time without disturbing the paint. And masking rubber for masking, if I ever plan on keeping areas white. Which I don't. But I sometimes bother to take that bottle with me anyway.
And there's always a paper tissue I clean my brushes with, soak up excess water or color from the paper.

My art supplies for watercolor and sketching. Top left are my favourite watercolors, all half pans, because I need many many colors and hate bulky equipment. They are Schmincke Horadam colors I'm quite fond of.
Below my Van Gogh traveling set. These are beautiful colors, esp. for the price!
Below are my brushes, two water brushes from pentel, the rest traditional ones.
On the right my mechanical pencil (Rotring), a brush pen (Pentel), two faountain pens (Lamy Safari + TWSBI Eco).

TFW you paint Spock. 🖖

Liebe TL, kennt ihr ein queer-freundliches Unternehmen in Karlsruhe, das eine Softwareentwicklerin sucht?