Not everything is in your control
And it is ok
It's funny that we figured this out only now
And many things that were happening with us were about wanting to have control while at the same time feeling like we don't have it
In some way even plurality itself was a way to lose control
"This is not me doing it, that was other one in the head"
It doesn't mean that our system is "fake" in any way. It's just how some of us perceived it. And it is ok
Why we weren't a happy system? 'cos we wanted to have control, to be in control
It is very hard to accept that you are no longer the only owner of the body
That you have to think about others, even if you can't really see them, only feel
I guess we'll have to spend some time thinking about it more. And more crying. 'cos crying is fine, we don't have to stop it, control it
We just have to feel, and let these feelings out
A lot of the problems actually stem from the fact that in our life we never had control. Everything was happening like people around wanted. Even dropping out of school happened when a therapist told that it was an option and that we should do it - so it wasn't really our choice
Interesting - talked with mom, and she said I never asked for anything. I felt like I never could ask for anything, while she thought I was always was given everything and just never wanted more. Not sure why this happened tho <.<
We blocked mom. Weeee
Sasha - too weak to have control but craving for it
Alex - sometimes controlling, wanting to save "status quo"
Alice - controlling "just for fun", does whatever she wants
Sunshine... Could it be about losing control of happiness in some way? Or mb shi is not relevant here <.<