Steve Johnson @SteveJohnson@octodon.social

When in Wichita, do as the witches do. Eat barbecue. (Hog Wild Pit Bar-B-Q, Whichita, KS).

People who live in glass houses should not throw orgies.

Why can't my "smartphone" automatically answer incoming calls, determine if they are a robot solicitor, and then hang up on them?

@schestowitz Ok, but that's just one way of looking at it. Catholics wiped out the entire Aztec civilization after discovering they performed human sacrifice. Was it right for one group of people to judge another?

Mastodon would be way more awesome if it could interface with somekind of translation engine that automatically kicked in based on your preferred language.

@Richard_ermen I hope the police give it back to you.

Def Leppard is the safest music to air drum to while driving because you can keep one hand on the steering wheel.

Is it just me, or is teaching abstinence in a sex ed class the same as teaching people to take the bus in a driver's ed class?

If it's wrong to go to a grocery store when you're hungry, is it also wrong to go to a sex shop when you're horny?

I grew up so poor, that my mom said the "B" in a BLT stands for bread.

Is it correct to assume that responsible people are removing themselves from the gene pool because they practice contraception?

Oh, and its so cold outside that I saw a politician with his hands in his own pockets.

I've just been told that my Procrastinators Anonymous meeting was postponed.

While I still enjoy Google+ as a social media outlet ( Its still has a more mature audience than FB and Tw), the political discussions are terribly partisan. I'll note that I started a political discussion here on octodon.social some days back, trying to chat from an open mind, only to discover that no one wants to discuss, except for one gal who was terribly close minded. I guess a good thing that political discussions on Mastodon are few and far between if any.

@FadingAway The Chinese only have dibs because he's physically in China. However, the US Embassy in China, which are in Beijing, Chengdu, Guangzou, Shanghai, Shenyang, and Wuhan, are actually considered US territory, and if he enters one of those buildings, the US can take over.

Just realized that we can thwart the zombie apocalypse by tying dead peoples shoelaces together.

@FadingAway Anything the US embassy can do to help? Seems like this son is a US citizen too and is eligible to fly to the states with you and start life over again.

On a serious note, these two guys belly up to the bar here in Wichita, KS, where I ended up tonight, and the guy on the right leans forward and squints his eyes and asks, "What's a Samuel Adams?" Ok, so maybe he's just joking I figured. But then the bartender, a sweet young gal answered, "Its like an IPA". Just before I was about to spit out my beer in disbelief, he makes a confused face and says, "I tell you what, I'll just get the Lite." San Diego this is definitely not. #beer #bars

I just read that in Arkansas a baby boy was born without eyelids, so doctors were able to make eyelids from his foreskin. Except now he's a little cockeyed.

When I was a kid I tried to eat a clock, but I found it too time consuming.