@bradamant Oh man that sounds heavenly, by comparison. Here's my current (for the one cat that's the unofficial early morning alarm clock):

1) Stand on cat tree, which is next to wall, and push on wall so it bangs into said wall.

2) Use clothes hamper (next to my bed) as scratching post.

3) Paw at metal bin near my bed.

4) If all else fails, whine repeatedly.

Frankly, I'd take anything you're getting over that. ;)