Brad Snowder @Skywise@octodon.social

ME: Our sun is part of a star cloud known as the Local Fluff. It's tumbling on the forward swell of a density wave known as the Orion Spur. This whole temporary association of mass is positioned inside of the outer rim of the Milky Way.

HER: Tall no-room dark roast?

ME: Plz.

Downtown at the core of our galaxy is a bar of stars 27,000 light years long. If we somehow get warp drive, look for me there.

The Canis Major Dwarf Galaxy is being raided of its valuables by the Milky Way. You want to do business in the realm, you pay tribute.

The bright star Sirius is two stars, A & B. The two orbit around each other once every 50 years. They were at their closest in 1993. They will be at their farthest apart between 2020 and 2025.

Laelaps (Canis Major) was a magical hound that was destined to always catch his prey. One day he set after the Teumessian Fox, who was destined to be uncatchable. Zeus turned them both to stone because if there's one thing he hates it's a linguistically contrived paradox.

The Sun will become a red giant, yes. And then a white dwarf, yes. Then a green elf, no.

It was once widely believed that the pearly gates were in Capricorn. Anyone who wanted to enter into glory had to go through that constellation. To come down to earth, angels and whatnot had to go through Cancer on the other side of the sky. It was like two one-way streets.

Eta Carinae suddenly got brighter in 1843 then faded down to barely visible. It's actually two stars too close together for their own good. If they keep on smooching one or both of them will eventually explode. Teenagers take warning. When you dance always make sure there is room between you for the holy ghost, at least two bibles worth.

The Wishing Well (NGC-3532) in Carina is an open cluster which is also called the Football Cluster because its shape is like a football slightly deflated by Tom Brady. It's famous for being the first object targeted by the Hubble Space Telescope (the cluster not Tom Brady).

Canopus is the 2nd brightest in the whole sky (not counting the sun). It's named after the navigator who steered ships for King Menelaus (the king who brought Helen of Troy home after the war). A storm blew them over to Egypt where a poisonous snake bit Canopus right on the Nile.

Gamma Cassiopeiae rotates rapidly. Escaping gas forms around it causing variations in brightness. The star's well known to astronauts who call it "Navi," a moniker coined by astronaut Virgil Ivan Grissom (Navi = Ivan backwards). The star is used as a navigational reference point.

M103 is an open cluster 10,000 light years away. That's four or five bus stops on the intergalactic highway. It was the last object Charles Messier entered into his list of 110 objects. That's right, 103 is the last of 110, which is a catalog of only 108 objects. Listing stuff is hard.

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Today the students have to estimate what percent of the objects in the photo are galaxies. Hint: 100.

In Celtic starlore the celestial "W" of Cassiopeia represents a different queen, Anu, mother of all the gods. In County Kerry Ireland there are two small mountains called the "Paps of Anu" which means "Anu's Boobs."

The nearest naked-eye star to the sun is Alpha Centauri. The common name for Alpha Centauri is "Toliman" which is Arabic and means "Ostriches." There's a story there but it's rather dull. I'm sure you can make up a better one.

There is a white dwarf star in Centaurus called BPM-37093. We think it has a whole lot of carbon and considering the pressure involved the atoms are crystallized, kind of like (but not quite) a giant diamond. The star is named "Lucy" after the Beatles song.

In Hawaii, the name for Alpha Centauri is Mele-Mele and the name for Beta Centauri is Pola-Pola. Remember, these are the same folks responsible for putting pineapple on Pizza-Pizza.

When Chiron the Centaur got poisoned the gods let him die even though he was technically immortal. They could have cured his pain instead but that's not how gods work. As a consolation after some consternation they made him into a constellation.

Today I lectured on the moon. Wait, that's not what I meant.