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Brad Snowder

The sky is looking clear.
The moon has swung to new.
I'm setting up the scope.
To view the cosmic poo.
(tentative title: why I don't write ads)

If the night is clear, go out and stare into the timeless void. If it's cloudy, log onto the Internet and stare into the timed void. Optional: post snarky comments about the void.

I'm attempting to re-enter society after taking cough medicine. Do we still curtsy when approaching a barista?

Suppose you want to make a scale model of our galaxy using salt for the stars. First of all you will need 11,000 pounds of salt, the kind with the little tiny grains, not the chunky gourmet stuff. Next you will need a canvas, get this, the size of the North American Continent.

Love them all and let gods sort them out.

Me: *stares into the abyss*
The Abyss: "Take a picture it lasts longer."

Not common knowledge apparently.

Stonehenge was built in phases, beginning as early as 3,100 BC until around 1,800 BC because contractors can really stretch out a job.

No. Sorry. The moon passing in front of the sun's shadow is not an eclipse. That's an apocalypse. No points.

How many people do you figure got squished building Stonehenge?

The Fox and the Goose is a small constellation in the night skies of summer. The fairy tale is the gruesome sort where a fox murders a goose. You know who else used this creepy metaphor? Hitler, who sided with the fox.

I'm socially liberal but fiscally liberal.

The Internet. A bunch of apes with computers debating whether evolution happened.

Never. Fully. Trust. Anybody.

I told Mr Idiot that I just wanted to see it splatter but he was completely convinced there was some sort of subconscious message behind it all, like the spud represented blah blah blah whatever. He thought I might need therapy. I got detention, cleaning erasers and what not.

Anyway the principal, Mr Elliot, whom we all called Mr Idiot of course, called me into his office the next day.

When I was in 5th grade I found a potato and I threw it at the side of James A. Garfield Elementary just to see it splatter. My best friend told his mom, who told my mom, who told the principal. In all the decades since then I've never been able to fully trust anybody.

Some of my favorite photons have a wavelength of 656.28nm.

Tonight you can see a teapot shape in the stars of Sagittarius providing you get out away from the city and eat some magic mushrooms.

Until the election is over I'm just going to assume all y'all are bots.