I want to see more non-binary defense coming from cis friends. Please speak the fuck out, please defend us, please speak up when being made fun of in the media is the norm. I’m tired of being othered and afraid to show my identity. I want us to share a word. Cis man, cis woman, if you are a true ally, please speak up
A few months ago nonbinary person, looking like what people traditionally as a man, spoke out on a French TV, about what non-binarity is.
The immediate reaction for the public was to deride them, harrass them. The concept of non-binarity was exposed to the general French public as nothing more than a joke, than a meme. "Non-binaire" is a joke in France. And we’re alone in this. No "ally" is standing up, no "ally" is getting anybody to talk to us and even consider our existence. It harrows me.
It needs to be known how hopeless we feel. It needs to be known how some queer people, queer figures, are willing to sell us out to look more valid to cishet people. It needs to be known we’re absolutely invisible the moment we step out of anglophone online circles. It needs to be known that most of us have internalized the idea that we’re a lesser, low-priority cause (we say "cause", it’s actually our very existences and lives) in progressive spaces
wow. I had no idea things were that bad.
I'm in the US, but is there anything I can do to help?
(I'm cis, not exactly het – asexual – but I don't seem to be discriminated against for that. So probably effectively cishet.)
@IceWolf being ace is valid :) if you feel that makes you straight it's fine, but it doesn't have to.
The simple thing you can do is show that you think our identities are valid to those around you. You don't have to get into fights or anything, just let people know where you stand, and amplify our voices like you did by boosting my thread, it's already a really good step.
Thank you for caring!
@Siphonay Of course!
And thanks. It wasn't so much "I'm straight" as "I'm effectively straight for this conversation, because I don't deal with the garbage y'all have to deal with".
As for doing things – thanks! I was a little worried I was supposed to get into fights and stuff. This sounds actually doable. (: I can /absolutely/ stick a rainbow button on my backpack or something, if that's the kind of thing you mean!
@Siphonay I've noticed myself (even as a cishet male, but one who knows a few European languages) the moment I step out of the Anglosphere just how toxic online communities are (esp
Youtube, birbsite etc), full with homophobia/racism/sexism etc, and I won't even claim things are better in Britain as those in media who bend/challenge gender rôles are often quite literally just viewed as "pantomime characters"
@vfrmedia from my white inhabitant of a western first world country, it does seem like movements for social progress originate mostly from the US. France is a bit slow to catch up on it, and is often met with fierce opposition because French culture is all about being a reactionnary
@Siphonay a lot of social progress comes from the UK too, but its mixed up with the more hedonistic side of the neoliberal media, that has been taking a battering in recent years from all sides.
eg: young peoples first exposure to LGBT+ culture is often via raves/festivals/clubbing, but these have been heavily clamped down due to moral panic and stronger enforcement of laws against drug use (especially DUI) and a lot of middle class lads just stay home and do gaming now instead >>
@Siphonay ofc gaming isn't bad in itself, but the online communities are a lot more aggressive than those that were assocated with the rave scene (and even ravers weren't always that friendly midweek when all the drugs wear off)
(I suspect the dopamine buzz from gaming and drugs is quite similar)
@Siphonay Honestly the fact that French can't even be assed to have a gender neutral pronoun - heck a gender neutral *noun* - is a huge reason why I had to drop this stupid language to learn English in the first place. French doesn't even give us a *chance* to talk about ourselves or our experiences. Where I'm from in Quebec the French cishets are always going on about how we have to *enforce* speaking French, like they enforce heteronormativity. It's all the same fucking bullshit
The only reason I would ever want to be cis is to help you out. Enbys are precious and the vitrol against them infuriates me.
@Siphonay *offers hugs*
@Siphonay cis people find other cis people more credible than trans or nonbinary folks; this is why it is critically important that cis allies stand on our side.
@Siphonay I am an ally! I try to defend you when it comes up. I suppose you could say I'm nonbinary too, although I just figured this out.
@micrackbiron thank you so much :) I hope finding your identity makes you feel as good as it did for me
@Siphonay It does, but it was quite a shock! I just couldn't find a word for it all these years...
@Siphonay i wish i could help more here, but I'm not exactly cis either (I'm maybe half-nb? I'm not really sure)
although i guess my old account is still known as being probably-cis (though I've never actually specified my gender or anything there either) so if i were to become active on that again i could say something there
@eviedelta whether you end up finding out your cis or not, I encourage you to keep exploring your gender identity :)
Thank you for your support
The social network of the future: No ads, no corporate surveillance, ethical design, and decentralization! Own your data with Mastodon!