@Samizdata @sungo err *she is the kind

@Elizafox @Samizdata My parents were total shits about my psych care as a kid. I got the religious "jesus is testing you" shit. In the years since, things have changed. Or at least it seems so to me. They're at least good at making sure I'm still alive.

@sungo @Elizafox My dad and stepmom are REALLY awesome about keeping tabs on me. Especially as I wouldn't have been tooting today had she not come by when my job couldn't reach me to come in early...

@Samizdata @sungo I've had close calls with suicide but luckily my attempts either failed, I got seen and aborted, or I chickened out.

@Elizafox @sungo One the stepmother caught me with after an OD, the other was due to insufficiently sharpened tools.

@Samizdata @sungo Insufficiently sharp tools are one reason my cutting never killed me.

@sungo @Samizdata It's sad too. Cutters have huge stigma as attention seekers. In my case though, it was part coping, and part "GOD DAMMIT FUCKING HELP ME YOU ASSHOLE PLEASE".

@Elizafox @Samizdata I never told a soul. Well, not until the only therapist I ever trusted caught me wincing at some physical movement.

@sungo @Samizdata I told people and got ignored. So I began to hide it. And I hid it further. And people thought I got better. I really didn't.

@Elizafox @sungo I coldbloodedly planned my OD attempt for two months before I did it, and NO ONE had a clue. My stepmother asked me when I woke up in ICU if I thought i had had a stroke.

@Samizdata @sungo I had limited OD opportunities. All I could OD on was common OTC meds, and I wasn't stupid enough to OD on Tylenol given the horrendous death from liver failure that would follow.

@Elizafox @sungo Mine was script opiates. I refuse to have them in the house any more, despite some of the positives, just to keep out of the way of temptation.