I swear to god, Velma, if this has anything to do with a fucking cryptocurrency…

This is me every time I read anything from solar.lowtechmagazine.com


This is just an excerpt from the growing collection of grumpy messages sent over the years to my friend who works at Facebook.

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We should’ve seen it coming that Facebook would take the “ruin an already existing word” route instead of the “invent a silly new word” one, considering taking something that already exists and making it worse but a part of their ecosystem has basically been their whole approach to product development anyway.


Suddenly grouchy after reading the words 'Willy Wonka prequel' for the first time.

I keep seeing this story in the news, about a seemingly dirty lawyer named 'Murdaugh' whose family got killed:


And this song starts in my head every time:


Sometimes it feels like the internet has not actually made it that much easier to stay in touch with people I care about, but a lot harder to stay out of touch with the people I don’t.

How the fuck is Henry Kissinger still alive? (Other hypotheses welcome)

I knew a guy in college who was afraid of old people because "they look too much like frogs."

Imagine having the monk-like level of mental discipline it must take to read the abbreviation ‘NDA’ without silently but involuntarily saying “National Dasketball Association” in your head even though you know what it actually is.

It’s a shame that bananas have such an unpleasantly mushy texture and bland-yet-sweet taste, because they have great ergonomics.

“Frontier Psychiatrist”, but it’s “Armchair Virologist”.

Later this same day, I sat down to eat the vegetables I bought at the store and watch a tv drama set in occupied France ~1941. In the episode, the Jewish maid was fired by the bourgeois woman because she thought the maid had stolen her ration coupons (in fact the bourgeois woman’s own child was playing with them). Then I thought to myself “wow, coupon fraud actually used to impact everyone.”

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Lmao no it doesn’t. It absolutely does not. I was cracking up the whole time I was grocery shopping today with this ad on my cart.

The United States has a tax called the Gas Guzzler Tax "to discourage the production and purchase of fuel-inefficient vehicles". The tax does not apply to trucks, minivans, or SUVs.

Atlanta has received somewhere else's weather and it must be returned to them immediately. If you know where this weather belongs, please contact the city of Atlanta so that we can get this situation resolved as quickly as possible.

Linguistic Presciptivism 

'Sparkling water' should be called 'sparkled water' and the process of creating it should be called 'sparkling'.

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