Pookleblinky @Pookleblinky@octodon.social

I gave my great grey cat a can of sardines in mustard sauce. She keeps nibbling, then looking up at me like "what the fuck is this?"

Then she eats a bit more.

Only about 25% or so of the time. If there's an attachment, I can't just go "eh" and post it into another instance.

octodon.social is giving me a 500 internal server error when I post.

The very big kitty committee is ready to hear your testimony. https://octodon.social/media/LAux27QS0AV1CFHrMEw

We will smooch all the bogeymen

http://kevan.org/wikitext/

Wikipedia as an old-school text adventure https://octodon.social/media/ON2l3c1Q7WBfIn2oVcY

Youtube videos with soothing nature videos, sun-dappled meadows with clouds gently drifting, etc. Audio is pounding thrash metal or hardcore dubstep

Gentlemen, I *monotone recitation of the the entire wikipedia article about Carl Vestrossen, the inventor of the modern car door latch*

I sat there in the seat of my car, a *9 minute long description of each mechanic visit since buying the car* *mansplains the abstract concept of traffic lights* wet myself with the existential horror that peered at me from the minivan in front of me. The orange cat clung to the window, mockingly. I cried tears of frustration and softly stroked my custom breast-shaped steering wheel, *5 minute long wikipedia description of Vin Diesel*

I awoke, nestled within my bed's voluptuous bosom. Silence. The crickets titted boobily in the darkness outside. I noticed a subtle breast-like creaking sound, soft, almost unnoticeable. I leapt out of bed and raced to my computer. *6 minute long recounting of the political dramas on a white supremacist subreddit* the breasts of unmitigated terror slapped me with each heartbeat. I *2 paragraphs about Terra Fuego's economy just straight up lifted from wikipedia* I

I perched, silent with unmitigated terror, heart racing a million miles a minute, as I beheld my mouse cursor. The little arrow, which normally points left, was now pointing to the right. I fled my bedroom, barely conscious of stubbing my toe against my stepfather, and retreated to the safety of the attic. I used to *9 minute long awkward description of a game he played by himself, it's not really sure what he was trying to accomplish*

Truly did I *3 minute long mansplain of what twitter is* and then wet myself, continuously, for the 16 hours I *8 minute blow-by-blow recounting of his last half hour on reddit* AVAST, I told the demon that *complains about how his stepfather makes him take out the trash*

I beheld in the vault of heaven a darkness, obscuring that orb which gives us life, which *600 words about his stepfather*, which *800 words about minecraft*, and I cowered under my bedsheets with great mucos-drenched sobs *500 words about a small town in New Mexico copied directly from Wikipedia*.

A lot of creepypasta seems to be a young man just completely losing his shit due to a cloud covering the sun, then posting on reddit using the most purple prose he can think of.

I'm in the middle of listening to a 74-hour long creepypasta playlist.