Pinned oot

[coffee shop]

Someone in line for their coffee sees Mastodon open on my laptop. They catch my eye, nod knowingly at me, and do the international IRL signal for "fellow tooter." They swing their arm in front of their face and fart loudly.

I do so in return. Unfortunately, I may have poop-tooted IRL.

Pinned oot

[job interview]

"Your resume says, 'Fuck You, Pay Me.'"

PHIL: Yes, sir. I have eight years of deep experience in Fuck You, Pay Me.

Pinned oot

Re-Introductions Show more

Q-Tip Box: Do not use in ear canal.

Me (with about twelve Q-Tips in each ear): Okay.

Mastodon is chumbawumbing -- and many blame the whisky drink, they blame the vodka drink, they blame the lager drink, they blame the cider drink

OBI-WAN, HAS GOT IT GOIN' ON!
HE'LL USE THE FORCE, AND HE'LL LOOK REAL' AWESOME!
OBI CAN'T YOU SEE, ANAKINS A SITH TO BE!
COME ON OBI-WAN, JUST, LET ME BE YOUR PADAWAN!

I once convinced someone that "rimming" is the act of getting spinning rims installed onto your car, then went on to explain that the act of installing a turbine into a jet engine is called "sky rimming" and at that point they told me I'M the idiot

Y'all. There's an instance called butts.team and I am cracking up

IWW members understood the power of dog memes even in the early 1900's:

Remember when Marie Kondo said to abandon all belongings and family save for a Pip Boy and wander the wasteland???

Toot: This image is nsfw
Me: *clicks image*
Image: *is nsfw*
Me: :pika:

"Phil, you shouldn't eat Poké. The capitalist trend of raw fish in seaweed will finish off the world's unstable aquaculture."

....

*feels bad as he shoves this delicious ahi tuna into his consumption hole*

Serve me the best Poké bowl in the wotld.

Or I'll eat your souls.

Can you imagine if Al Gore were still telling us how to visit websites? Tsk.

Probably Mastodon's biggest "PR" problem, to the extent that PR matters to folks, is that the vast majority of people think Mastodon is one giant collection of instances that are still mercy to the whims of one person rather than a protocol that will grow beyond its founder.

This person sampled Mario Odyssey's "Jump Up Superstar" to make one of those lo-fi hip hop beats that sounds like a music box and IT IS A GOOD THING TO HAPPEN TO ME.

Can't unsee: Shrek and Han Solo basically have the same outfit.

Mastodon is crumbling because Eugen doesn’t follow me back

saddest thing I've ever learned from wikipedia:

While Mother's Day has the highest number of phone calls, the most collect calls are made on Father's Day.

There should probably be some kind of law against editors writing headlines instead of the actual article writers.

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Octodon

Octodon is a nice general purpose instance. more