PhilthePill @PhilthePill@octodon.social

[coffee shop]

Someone in line for their coffee sees Mastodon open on my laptop. They catch my eye, nod knowingly at me, and do the international IRL signal for "fellow tooter." They swing their arm in front of their face and fart loudly.

I do so in return. Unfortunately, I may have poop-tooted IRL.

[job interview]

"Your resume says, 'Fuck You, Pay Me.'"

PHIL: Yes, sir. I have eight years of deep experience in Fuck You, Pay Me.

Okay, new account. New instance. New #introductions.

Hello! My name's Phil and - for now - I'm based in Northern Virginia. I can't code my way out of a box, but I *do* design WYSIWYG-platform websites for aspiring authors and bloggers.

My side project is a website that centralizes web patronage for journalists, writers, and artists. Often, I talk movies. And I love new music and fiction.

I support: trans people and the full LGBTQIA spectrum. And I'm a child of immigrants.

Are edamame just lima beans for cowards?

"Phil, you shouldn't eat Poké. The capitalist trend of raw fish in seaweed will finish off the world's unstable aquaculture."

....

*feels bad as he shoves this delicious ahi tuna into his consumption hole*

Serve me the best Poké bowl in the wotld.

Or I'll eat your souls.

Can you imagine if Al Gore were still telling us how to visit websites? Tsk.

Probably Mastodon's biggest "PR" problem, to the extent that PR matters to folks, is that the vast majority of people think Mastodon is one giant collection of instances that are still mercy to the whims of one person rather than a protocol that will grow beyond its founder.

This person sampled Mario Odyssey's "Jump Up Superstar" to make one of those lo-fi hip hop beats that sounds like a music box and IT IS A GOOD THING TO HAPPEN TO ME. #Nintendo #Music

There should probably be some kind of law against editors writing headlines instead of the actual article writers.