the number of times I have posted this link (and its previous home on livejournal) and had someone reply with "Oh wow, I didn't realize that was me." is mindboggling. I use it as a spot-check, given my own past.
So folks, read this link and evaluate the systems and relationships you're involved in today: http://www.issendai.com/psychology/sick-systems.html
@Nuzzle you're welcome, and best of luck. It's sometimes frustrating how much harder it is for people to see these dynamics in their jobs than in their intimate relationships. I hope he breaks the cycle.