That awkward moment when you spend the week tracking down a "bug" to find someone made a classic code error:

I'm truly blown away by Amazon's "inspired by..." boxes.
By "blown away" I mean "until my face hit the desk". It's "inspired by" as in "the kid next next to me in exams was inspired by my answers".
It's my wishlist and browsing history, Amazon. Regurgitating them at me then sitting next to it looking proud of yourself isn't going to impress me.
(Is it bad that I see them as a neighbour's puppy?)

Remember: Possession is 9/10 of the law. The other 10% is opportunity for exorcists.

When in doubt:
The velocity of an unladen European swallow is approximately 11 meters per second.

A while ago an interviewer asked where I hoped to be in 5 years.
But if I told them I'd be lying in bed crying pithy messages to octodon, I'm not sure I'd got the job.

We cannot become better humans by feeling.
We can become better humans by howling.

Too drained for this living thing.
Someone bring blanket, bed, and a few months to sleep with them.
The bed and blanket.
Not the person.

A spirit came me today.
Said I'd be visited by the ghosts of three of my life's ambitions tonight.
Not gonna lie. Didn't realise I had that many.

Therapist: So tell me about your earliest memories.
Me: *Gazes in to the infinite void until the existential dread makes it howl*
Therapist: We made progress today.

Busy pupating in bed.
I promise that's not a dirty word.
But about as messy as it sounds.

It's too early if I wake up and I'm still not fossilised.

A peculiar trait 

The peculiar trait of saying "an historic" irritates me.
Come on people. We all know it's 'an' before a vowel, 'a' before a consonant.
*H drop*.

May's response to Brexit:
Brexit means Brexit! Full steam back to the 70s!
May's response to Labour manifesto:
Wtf. Why we going back to the 70s?

I'm starting to appreciate Spring.
It makes liberal use of reflection and black magic. And that is terrifying.

Nafrondel boosted

• If both subjects admit they are clones, they are destroyed.
• If both subjects maintain they are the original, they are destroyed.
• If one subject concludes they are the clone, and the other insists they are the original, the former is destroyed, and the latter returned to its tank for further study.

Just logged in on a desktop for the first time.
Holy scrollbars Batman.

Turns out the Tory solution to tax dodgers is... don't tax them?

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