@brook Script ported, checked in to Git, deployed to users. I sense a beer in my near future. Possibly more than just one.

PS Why do awk programmers always write their programs as a single super-long line? When I finally reformatted that monstrosity with line breaks and indentation, it was over 200 lines long. And existed in two versions, that differed only by the polarity of 4 comparisions and 1 boolean variable. Aaaaaaaaugh...

Definitely more than one beer.