My mother told her friends about my wife's experience with breast cancer, but neglected to tell them that I'm not a Christian.

Now I'm getting love-bombed by email and hearing about how my wife's cancer is part of God's plan.

So I just emailed them all and told them that if Catherine losing one of her tits and living in fear of what else the doctors might find is God's will, then God is going to need a guardian angel.

My iron chariot has a 30mm gatling cannon.