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I've asked this before but can someone please explain this to me it is apparently me

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I drop all my papers on the floor, flustered I drop to my hands and knees trying to collect them, comically they keep blowing away and slipping. A gentle wet noise grabs my attention and I look up. I see a hand holding all my (neatly organized and collated) papers, I blush and thank the sentient ground beef golem. They, at least I think they, laugh and speckle my glasses with finely marbled protein oddment and I suddenly know who I'm going to spend the rest of my life with.

(Meat Cute)

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My robotic Italian chef is really putting the "tomato" in "automaton"

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Every young politician is sorted in houses when they first run for office

Ahhh it's been a decade I'm starting school next week and am terrified and excited

Franchising is selling someone liability and risk, it insulates the more powerful party, and it is bullshit

By "end" I guess I just mean the time my conclusions sank deep enough that I got very comfortable with knowing a lot of shitty behavior is tactically employed so the shit-upon won't be trusted.

Until in HS when a friend said something close to "he'd never do it around you though, he knows we're friends and wants you to side against me." And I kinda started putting it together.

I mean, it's still hard to catch myself trusting someone and finding out they suck when they're outside of my experience, but that was the start of my seeing the dynamic fully. I think the "end" was after college when I saw a friend-dude go mask-off misogynist at a woman he didn't know I was dating.

I think, like daily, about the first time I broke the cycle of someone telling me a dudebro of mine was a complete shithead and me responding "oh that sucks, weird, he's never been that way in front of me". For a long time I would start really watching the dudebro closely and trying to figure out what I missed, but under the assumption there was nothing that could escape my empirical observations. Then I decided for myself.

there's an impossible to develop plot of land near me that has these giant prehistoric rocks in it and no one can figure out how to rip it up and build luxury apts on it so it just stays there and the rocks are beautiful and i fantasize about having the money to just like, hire a bunch of a tradespeople to work with neighborhood kids on carving it into a warm giant stone cave kitchen with tiny gardens growing on the roof and then they cook for the neighborhood when it's done.

just make me a billionaire so i can buy up real estate and fund community centers and public health centers and soup kitchen combinations that are basically like that really nice grandma's house that everyone's invited to all the time and has a lot of spare beds but you've gotta help with the chores bc she's the kind of grandma that everyone in the neighborhood calls "Grandma" and no one really knows her name.

Genuinely surprised there isn't more "I'm Mr. Bucket, you put the balls in my mouth" themed kinkplay.

The nice thing about living in a dense city is you can throw a 14 year old's tantrum at thrice that age and everyone just kinda gives you space

Literally the only thing that defines the genre of documentary is "Did the subject of this fillum fuck bigfoot"

I still think "The World's A Dress" would be an unimaginably cooler song than "The World's Address"

G E R M A N Y

M E G R Y A N

Coincidence?!?!? That's what they want you to think.

Sugoi, Sugoi, watcha gonna do, watcha gonna do, watcha gonna do, watcha gonna do when they target me directly.

My next big step of personal growth is gonna be wearing suspenders well.

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