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I've asked this before but can someone please explain this to me it is apparently me

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I drop all my papers on the floor, flustered I drop to my hands and knees trying to collect them, comically they keep blowing away and slipping. A gentle wet noise grabs my attention and I look up. I see a hand holding all my (neatly organized and collated) papers, I blush and thank the sentient ground beef golem. They, at least I think they, laugh and speckle my glasses with finely marbled protein oddment and I suddenly know who I'm going to spend the rest of my life with.

(Meat Cute)

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My robotic Italian chef is really putting the "tomato" in "automaton"

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Setting aside the question of "who" is garbage guts, I am much more interested instead in the questions of "how" is garbage guts, "what" is garbage guts, and most importantly, "why" is garbage guts.

Anyway please draw a picture of what you think garbage guts looks like in MS paint and upload it.

alright which one of you fuckers am i playing destiny with rn

if something slaps but it's kind of sensual too it spanks. Like, this tomato soup I made slaps, but this jalapeno honey grilled cheese sandwich? that shit spanks.

Naruto's catch phrase is one of the dumbest lines in television I say as I binge an anime about an elite culinary battle high school where everyone orgasms and becomes naked when they eat good food

I cannot overstate how good the dumplings I made are

that man looks like a cherry pepper or something, but without any features

i might be very depressed but im still a bad bitch ok

Jerkskin Fendrix is the 1000 Gecs of your generation

i get why people end up resenting NYC given how provincial the townies are and how up their own ass a lot of people who move here and make it on their parent's dime are, but at its heart hating on the city is exactly the same as people on coasts hating on "flyover states" or whatever.

Yeah, I guess I'm a bit of a foodie. I always make homemade ranch dressing with fresh scallions and green peppercorns for my Totinos pizza rolls.

like, film snobs in general display some of the lowest self awareness of any kind of snob. like do you realise how much of a low art form this has been for most of its existence. but the existence of HOLLYWOOD film snobs blows my fucking mind

cartoon pinup drawing, everyone on cryptids 

Thanks to @cypnk 's very cool woodworking posts I've been reminded of one of my all time favorite silly projects, a mashup of Enzo Mari's autoprogettazione (really cool DIY woodworking book) and...Ikea?

Singing "three dead mice" to the tune of "three blind mice" to my snake as I drop off his dinner

making a dark souls hellgrind kind of game where you're an anprim high medieval knight who has to fight and destroy every standing building and piece of architecture in your country, but the dragons and portals painted on the buildings seem real to you so you just keep running headfirst into walls. It's called Donald Coyote.

I don't get it I have nakedly declared my fervid need for love and affection to all passers-by and to this moment they have all rejected me and decamped post haste.

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