Sorry To Father You @Jewbacchus@octodon.social

I've asked this before but can someone please explain this to me it is apparently me

I drop all my papers on the floor, flustered I drop to my hands and knees trying to collect them, comically they keep blowing away and slipping. A gentle wet noise grabs my attention and I look up. I see a hand holding all my (neatly organized and collated) papers, I blush and thank the sentient ground beef golem. They, at least I think they, laugh and speckle my glasses with finely marbled protein oddment and I suddenly know who I'm going to spend the rest of my life with.

(Meat Cute)

My robotic Italian chef is really putting the "tomato" in "automaton"

By and large, I am bi and large.

the hardest part of deciding to try to just cook at home and not buy stuff for a while is the lack of sweets. I always have dinner leftovers if i need a quick snack but like, I have to bake a whole cake or batch of cookies for a dessert???? Or just yogurt and frozen fruit??? unacceptable.

There's an ongoing joke in my home about how I once dominated a dinner table for almost an hour excitedly discussing a local dessert called Nesselrode Pie interrogating boomers who remembered the first time it was popular in NY and now I get accused of "Nesselroding" if i spend more than 2-3 min talking about a food.

I am here for extremely regional food and beverage discourse I live for it tbh. If culinary anthropology was anything I could build a life on I would 100% devote my life to it, but it definitely feels like a kinda frivolous pursuit that would be v. difficult to help people with.

What I'm saying is tell me about your extremely local foods, your immigrant fusion stories, pls explain to me why Chicago Tamales are so vastly different, where did the Knish go.

Hey fun new word for America it's a diastopia bc there are so many diasporic communities and also it's here

Oh my God are they declaring college athletes essential workers

I'm a big dumb baby but am grateful I can admit that

Have to sit with the idea of doing anything outside my brain for 3-4hrs before I can actually perform the actual sorry

Thinking about how institutional racism and crimes against humanity done to non-white people means organ donation is viewed with justifiable suspicion

pos vibe emanation is a privilege but i'm going to try to embrace it.

Bizarro Bears and Mxyzptlk Twinks

Face up, ass down, that's the way I like to sound.

Shout out mental illness.

Post yr most recently saved images to form some sort of autobiographical narrative but you can't quote tweet this to tell people what you're doing bc this isn't twitter so instead just post a string of contextless memes with the alt-text and i'll be the only one who knows LMAO OK?!?!!?!!? this is relatable content baybee

I found out cooters are turtles when I was like, 11, from some Mark Twain ass short story. I'm still not over it. Cooter??? How did that go from normal turtle to pussy.

Are you a Gengar??? (Born into the Garfield Generation)

I'm so full of egg.

https://pagesix.com/2020/07/06/alan-dershowitz-hasnt-visited-his-favorite-nude-beach-in-months/

just want to huge a soft pet and never have another responsibility again

Musical theater has never been good. It's an awful medium with a terrible artistic vocabulary.