Hdpants @Hdpants@octodon.social
Social Media Content Coordinator. Melted ice cream runs through these veins.
About me:
Small
A little obnoxious
Clearly doesn't belong on the back of that Pontiac
I've also described an aftermarket muffler
Idea: we both put on masks. Yours is a duck. Mine is a pigeon. We go into a bank.
"Everybody, put your hands up!"
We ask them to tell us what we are.
Birds. We are birds they say.
Then why do our masks look different?
"Are you robbing this bank or not"
I'm going to focus on the toilet now
I question too many things on the porcelain throne
I question too many things on the porcelain throne
Guess where I am right now Show more
Some days you just want to go home and poop. But you can't. You're a big girl now.
Time to make everyone in my office suffer while I go make salty, buttery popcorn. I love to here them complain about how good it smells, but they can't have any because they are on a diet or something.
What was that decentralized social network that was supposed to compete with facebook a couple years back?
I'm just here trying to understand what I'm doing here
I can't wait for people to say tootstorm on the news in a serious sentence
Are...are we called tooters? First at home...now here. It never ends.
This reminds me of how Obama 08 made me feel like the total collapse of capitalism was imminent, and that the banks responsible for the financial recession would be held to account. And by this I mean Mastodon.
Feels like standing at the busy cross road. Fascinating.
It's actually really awesome that Mastodon attracted a shitload of users who largely aren't aware that the underlying GNUSocial platform is old.
You know why?
Because it means we can do this over and over.
Every time someone releases a new implementation with different-looking chrome on top, it can go through its own marketing and media cycle and garner new users. *And the network effect will be cumulative.*
@Hdpants it's all the repression and shame you've carried around your whole life displayed in front of people that have control over your financial future. Nbd
Someone explain to me how it feels to poop at work because I'll never know
Trapped in the bathroom because a bunch of people came in and of course I can't leave if someone sees me because I'm neurotic and I don't know why CURSES
As you can see my account is anti-verified
Dreamt last night that friends and I were talking about which science-fiction movies actually ought to get sequels. In my dream, I suggested that what the world really needs is THE SIXTH ELEMENT.
There was a duck in my parking spot this morning, just sitting there minding his own business, so I parked somewhere else. Now there's a steady stream of people coming by my desk to tell me there's a duck in my parking spot.
That mallard has shaken up the whole establishment, he's a real disruptor.
