Gogogadgetpants @Gogogadgetpants@octodon.social

How do you like your frozen dinner served? Instruction-style, or "Whatever, on a pan in the oven until it smells like food?"

the inside of my bag looks like some kind of inspirational quote should be slapped over it in fancy font, but these are really pens I made to keep from getting stolen at work and today's wallet.

Disappointed to learn that the EURion constellation doesn't make digital photos go weird, just photocopiers. Was going to make some sort of tee shirt that glitches up the camera. Google only offered ideas to get BETTER pictures.

I'm not going to have enough money in my lifetime to get a Panther Modern jumpsuit, you see, but I COULD be hard to spot in pictures if I had good digital camoflage.

Today at work there was a giant inflatable colon you could walk through. I apologise in advance for not snapping you all a picture.

I lost my purse, which sucks. So I've been carrying around a tote bag. Inside the tote bag is a book, which is my entertainment but also my wallet?

Tiki drinks have been my jam lately, but someone made me a Corpse Reviver no. 2 and it's totally magical.

Just signed a waiver re: throwing axes.

I bet the key is in the locked box on the wall...

Have I wandered into an escape room by mistake? Should I search the drawers? There's a book with a sticker on it instructing me to leave it for others to enjoy.

I am seated facing a mirror. I'm just supposed to wait quietly for something.

"Good luck!" the nurse says to me as she leaves. Good luck? What does luck have to do with this appointment? Fuck!

The nurse said "Please sit in the red chair." It's uncomfortable, in a corner, and the only nonbeige thing in the room. I feel like I'm in time out.

The party has devolved into YouTube requests and I feel like everything I might request will be depressing or weird.

How to crush every family game of pictionary you are forced to play:

First, draw a tiny gallows. It's okay for it to be a crude stick drawing, you're being timed! This will give everyone playing a sense of forboding and focus them.

Then, draw a series of blank boxes in front of the gallows. Damn perspective, this is not an art contest. Make the number of boxes a cryptic hint to the word they must inevitably speak to end this hellish game. "What's in the boxes?" they'll cry.

I received 17 books as gifts so it has been a Very Fine Day.