Gogogadgetpants @Gogogadgetpants@octodon.social
<p>Basically, an old lady.</p>
Just signed a waiver re: throwing axes.
I bet the key is in the locked box on the wall...
@ej Well hullo! I'm doing alright, how about you?
Have I wandered into an escape room by mistake? Should I search the drawers? There's a book with a sticker on it instructing me to leave it for others to enjoy.
I am seated facing a mirror. I'm just supposed to wait quietly for something.
"Good luck!" the nurse says to me as she leaves. Good luck? What does luck have to do with this appointment? Fuck!
The nurse said "Please sit in the red chair." It's uncomfortable, in a corner, and the only nonbeige thing in the room. I feel like I'm in time out.
Hey hey my friends! We made it! 2018 group hug. Boost to join.
The party has devolved into YouTube requests and I feel like everything I might request will be depressing or weird.
self-promotion (newsletter/fiction) Show more
How to crush every family game of pictionary you are forced to play:
First, draw a tiny gallows. It's okay for it to be a crude stick drawing, you're being timed! This will give everyone playing a sense of forboding and focus them.
Then, draw a series of blank boxes in front of the gallows. Damn perspective, this is not an art contest. Make the number of boxes a cryptic hint to the word they must inevitably speak to end this hellish game. "What's in the boxes?" they'll cry.
I received 17 books as gifts so it has been a Very Fine Day.
My cat likes to check to see if she wants pizza which she usually doesn't but by then neither does anyone else because the cat has licked it.
@emdeesee All the human foods she's into are salty. She also loves buttery biscuits! Also, butter. I don't think the pizza toppings matter, though she will totally eat meat toppings. Not that I've tried feeding her people food. I'm just clumsy at eating and drop things in her general direction.
@emdeesee I have an older cat who suddenly decided she loves pizza.
PSA: As the gift exchanges descend upon us this time of year, this is your reminder to be aware of your state of dress when taking photos of glossy or reflective objects before you go sending snaps of your gifts to friends and loved ones.
I keep telling everyone not to shake the presents because one of them *might be* a ball of matches ornament in a sandpaper lined box. #milkmandan
Razor: "Dangerous Fun Sounding Toys to Injure Your Kid" was too long, but they still wanted to get the gist of it across.
Late capitalism, laughing so hard you can't breathe. Show more
Came home to find my sweetie watching a video of a guy chopping wood. "Is there anything better than chopping some Douglas Fir in the woods?” the man asks. Without missing a beat, my sweetie says "Surely there must be!"
I have no idea what is going on, but they are both utterly charming.
