scams 

the C in USB-C stands for "crap, there's another format"

me: dang i'll never get back to sleep

also me: *falls asleep in my chair for 2 hours*

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Anyway, I'm clearly not getting back to sleep, so good morning

me: maybe sitting outside a while will help my mood

outside: it's hot and muggy out here and probably gonna rain soon

me: well shit

covid-19 joke 

i'm on vacation next week, so i guess it'll basically be the same as this week except without pretending to work.

and so on in this vein 

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child protective services taking the teenage mutant ninja turtles away from splinter because he's raising them in an unsanitary and dangerous environment.

Castlevania, spoilers 

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