“But mom, you HAVE to drive me back to dad’s to get my iPaaaaaad!!!!!” 😭

“Absolutely not. I’ve driven all over today. I’m done! No!”

“I’m calling dad!”
“Dad? Will you bring me my iPad?”

“No! I won’t!”

(Me, under my breath: “Fucking bastard won’t drive 3 miles to bring his daughter her fucking iPad.”)