🌳 Fritillaria 🌳 @Fritillaria2@octodon.social

overthinking as performance art

The OKC guy who I messaged a month ago to tell him he needed to ditch his photo with the Morrissey shirt... who never messaged me back... tonight I see he ditched the Morrissey shirt photo. Good boy.

I'm planning an internet-free weekend, or will try. As a favor to me, please be boring until Monday. Thank you in advance.

@seachanged Ummm.... Good question.

The best answer is: It's more THAT I need to write it with the idea that people will read it. I honestly have zero motivation to organize, deepen and edit my thoughts unless someone at sometime will read it.

So... Hm... second best answer: Those that have absolutist notions like I did. One guy seemed to think you could selectively harvest and have it look like nothing happened and I'm like, okaaaay <nods> <internally rolls eyes>

I like pushing boundaries.

Small-scale sustainable forestry ultimately led me to study forestry formally. I have an instructor that teaches alternative harvest systems, and in fact the property of the friend and neighbor who introduced me to the concept is one of the field trips we took in the forest management class.

Surprisingly, I'm now defending some clearcut practices over selective logging, whereas I was once strictly against them..

I need a place to post an essay once I get my thoughts together. Suggestions?

Nasturtiums in my sort-of-first garden.

Oooooh, I made a big batch of penne with sausage, mushrooms and marinara, and it was so good, so good.

And it was good.
Good again.
Alright, here it is!
Here it is.
And here it is again.
Holy fuck how much did I make?
Almost... halfway.
Sigh.
Yeah, it's good.
Yeah...
😩

I wanted to briefly and cynically point out that today I'm working for less than half of what I made per hour *twenty years ago*.

My gardening and housekeeping rates? I have not had a raise in twenty years.

Alright, enough pouting. Chainsaw-stinky pants on. Coffee poured. Music queued up for the car. Minimum wage, here I come.

Yesterday I did some cleaning for an old housekeeping client. *25 bucks an hour.* Ex passed a couple of gardening jobs my way for the summer. *25 bucks and hour*.

Today I'm back doing forestry work study at *12 bucks an hour*, and even when I find a job, it will likely be less than what I make at my old professions.

It's so easy to think "what the hell am I doing"? Then I have to walk myself through all the decision making that led me here. There is a reason.

What would happen to Americans if the rest of the world adopted metric time? I fear our brains might liquify or explode. Could this be weaponized against us? Hm... one wonders... 🤔

The cat at the house I’m cleaning is hiding and meowing, essentially saying, “I’m scared of you Are you going to feed me? I’m scared. Feed me?”

Thanks to all who ⭐ ed my photos. I can't step out my front door to take this walk anymore, so yesterday was special and I felt joyful and inspired. This will always be home to me.

I like to start in late afternoon when the walk across the valley is hot. I reach the cell tower as the sun wanes. At my friend's farm, the sun sets. Then I dive into the forest as the light fades and finish as twilight nears dusk. In winter, it's already dark and I can barely see my way through the forest. ❤️

Further along the walk, up the hill, the forest makes way for a clearcut. It offers a sweeping view, a chance for contemplation, and for listening to all the sounds.

I love taking photos of cell towers, the way they catch the light of a setting sun.

The next photo is the hay field at my neighbor’s, whose property is like a private park.

Finally, a look back over the hayfields and the sun setting behind the hills to the north(!!!) Look closely and you’ll see the cell tower on the right.

“But on the other side
It didn’t say nothin’
That side was made
For you and me
This land is your land
This land is my land...”

On one of my favorite walking detours— to the nearby cell tower—close to my forest. (The company really doesn’t care, but it still feels a little subversive.)

A plastic bottle of coffee concentrate crashed to the floor this morning. 😱 So I had to clean the floor.

This afternoon:

<looks around>
I guess I should clean the cupboards.

<looks up>
God dammit.

Hallelujah! It’s time for beer!

...LUNCH! (I meant lunch.) 🍺🍻

One of those odd days when the scale says I lost FOUR pounds overnight. I won't argue nor will I complain, but I suspect to see a couple of those back on by tomorrow.