"I haven't spoken to my mother-in-law for 18 months. I don't like to interrupt her."
"How many men does it take to change a toilet roll? Nobody knows. It's never been tried."
"Did you hear about the shrimp that went to the prawn’s cocktail party? He pulled a mussel."
"Five out of every three people have trouble understanding fractions."
"Just read a book about Stockholm syndrome, it started off badly but by the end I really liked it."