@Stoori One of my friends has a condition (exact medical diagnosis escapes me at the moment) where they find difference between appearance and label extremely confusing.
So, they tend to get criticised for misgendering &c., not because they don't want to respect others but because their authentic communication is appearance=label rather than label>appearance.
Not the same as your situation, but thought it might give you a sense of not being alone.
@DaveHiggins Yeah. This specific form of abilism is a bit tricky to address, because the criticized behaviour manifests in a way that is sometimes hard to discern from bigotry, so bringing it up may also be seen as defending bigotry, which is likely to attract canceling commentary. That, in turn, is very demotivating and tiring, so many times it's just easier to just shut up and weather the abilism.
@Stoori It seems part of the wider belief that mental states aren't "real" issues in the way physical ones are.
If someone put up a notice on a door saying "please don't use" and a person who was blind used it, no one would blame the blind person.
So, we should have the same acceptance that some people don't experience social cues that are clear to most, &c.
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