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cat yelling at me: aww baby 😊 what do you want

person yelling at me: raise your voice one more fucking time and i will put your teeth so far down your throat you'll get an intestinal obstruction

shop talk 

automating public key infrastructure so i never have to renew a ca or issue certificates in the command line again

important scientific poll 

do you know a vampire. do they have soft skin?

i want to kill a ceo. as just another wacky life experience u know. as a nice trip with lovers. would it be gay if we kissed over jeffs dead body. very much so

food 

eaing salted caramel right out of the jar. whos gonna stop me

it's fucked up that when you eat the ice cream there's less ice cream

nooo dont call the cops im smol uwu threat actor

if i burned out i would simply slow down time with drugs as to burn out slower every year getting as many things done as possible until i finally disintegrate

do you get plus time when you refer someone who doesn't get plus. ayyy lmao its worth a try or a thousand i guess

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im gonna. hack duolingo. cant take these fucking plus ads anymore wheres theyre hq

computers 

if you don't want to be like me you can also just use 'ssh host -t tmux attach'

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computers 

ssh'ing on servers and immediately doing arrow up and enter hoping it's 'tmux attach' and not 'poweroff', the daily sysadmin russian roulette

computers 

except spotify on my right and mastodon on my left,

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computers 

wait you mean if i put it in full screen i just won't have things to give attention to. like on purpose. what the fuck that's so good

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