Show more

picking the last option means you are a juggalo. i will not be taking questions at this time

Show thread

how satisfied are you with your life on a scale of 0 to 1

a fun thing i like to do is treating people who demand being treated as an authority like theyre equals. not being mean or anything, just being nice and cordial. its fun as hell

afaik someone deleted their account and mastodon being a piece of shit ddos'd itself. emergency upgrade of the redis. queues are ridiculous. i'm going to bed and mastodon can die in a fire

the people I follow: *tech words I don't know, knitting techniques, fandom bullshit, a kink I've never even heard of*
me: right on, man. hell yeah

Show thread

My roommate: [doesn't do the dishes]

Me: if I was in the mood for some gender validation I would've asked for it

body horror 

dwayne "the rock" johnson in "the fast and furious": woah boy, woah! what is it? what's got you spooked? sh sh sh.
his car: (nervous horse noises)

my abandonment issues ruin my nightmares too pls help i just want to have a mildly bad night

how do i tell people my only real skill is shitposting in a way that makes me sound cute and cool

i'm no psychologist but everyone i know is lowkey surpressing the urge to tear up every piece of paperwork in their house and smash most of their electronic devices and run away into the night and the woods for as long as they possibly can and i /do/ think that's a problem

i love the fact that there are many java processors. as in a cpu designed to run java bytecode. it is horrifying but it also shows that we are easily capable of the most absurd feats if it pleases the capital

Show more
Octodon

The social network of the future: No ads, no corporate surveillance, ethical design, and decentralization! Own your data with Mastodon!