@Averly it sounds like you're in a place where you're still waiting for your feet to touch the ground. You seem so down, and I really hope you find somewhere you can stop, take stock, and plan for what's next instead of always moving.
If you have old friends you can call on, call them, even just to talk.
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@Averly
there's always someone. You can't have alienated everyone in your life, it's so difficult to do that you have no idea. I was a fucking disaster for a long time and even I didn't manage it.
Call someone, even if it's been a long time. Someone you used to be close to. If you have to apologize, do that. If not, even better.
Don't let yourself be alone because your brain is tricking you into thinking you are!