Aicaya ⚧ @Aicaya@octodon.social

Meanwhile I can't get a job, there's so many police on strike that crime's risen to the point where I can't exercise, the air is thick with pollution from all the generators in this neighborhood so I keep getting sick, and there's so much noise 24/7 because of said generators (which sound like a lawn mower orchestra) that my stress is at an all-time high.

As far as chances of escape go I'm at the mercy of RNGesus and the dice keep landing on 1's.

I keep wondering what it'll take for me to be able to move out again, but every train of thought eventually arrives to "pure luck". Take past year, for example: I order parts for a rig that I could use for work (with help from tge family), mail decides to delay their arrival until months later, the build ends up unusable due to a bad part, I spend months more saving up for a replacement and the moment I get it and start working we get two hurricanes and a months-long blackout.

Hindsight keeps torturing with the many should'ves that could've prevented all this. Should've exercised more, should've moved somewhere I could more easily walk/take the bus places, should've transferred my ADD prescription to a local psychiatrist before my old one was arrested for pedophilia, etc.

Instead I linger, wing it despite not knowing much of the world and end up with over $20k in debts in a place that won't even let me work and pay it back.

No matter how much I ponder and note the factors that were out of my control (mostly involving my health), I still can't help but feel I failed horrendously at life.

Puerto Rico is a trap designed to keep you from ever leaving. Ludicrous prices, stupid-high crime rates, hurricanes, weak infrastructure—all designed to keep you from saving what you earn. Leaving for the mainland is the easiest out and in 2008 I took it.

And then I let myself slip, got evicted and got punted back here.

I love how the only power company truck to grace this neighborhood five months into a blackout was a frickin' debt collector.

"No, pardon me, not interested in fixing all those poles and cables serving as lawn decorations across the street—we just want cash out of this person."

I am. So tired. Of this ongoing bullshit.

Welp. Set up a ko-fi page:
https://ko-fi.com/aicaya

Just gotta remember to link to it anytime I post an image. :V

I should probably make a ko-fi account when next I have access to my PC (in two days, maybe? I dunno, depends on a lot of stuff).

In less than a week, it'll be exactly four months since last I had electricity.

I hate this fucking island.

First pic inked with a crow quill. Definitely prefer it over the usual pens. (cw: nudity)

#art #mastoart #touhou

https://octodon.social/media/5NB3hA9ZouRxT6JBGaE

Never thought I'd ever see an official Touhou manga in English but I'm glad it happened. Especially since it's my favorite of the book spinoffs.

Should probably draw some fanart soon. :V

https://octodon.social/media/GaUyUbYwxDHXWNPVy_k

> hears someone at mom's house blurt out a crapton of slurs at once
> no complaints, everyone just nods and expresses agreement

It's official: I am never coming out as pan or trans until I'm as gone from this island as humanly possible.

Today's practice. Learned that using acrylic as correction fluid only works when you have a scanner available (editing it out via the phone was a pain). Also, few things bring down the mood quicker than seeing obvious mistakes right before uploading.

(cw: boobs)

#art #mastoart #ink

https://octodon.social/media/srRE-DmSHTqRmJYJes4

I was able to plug in my computer at a relative's place, and I'm glad to see it survived the hurricane.

This was also a reminder as to how much I dislike drawing digitally but hey, the Cintiq also made it.

(cw: nudity)

https://octodon.social/media/Gb4i_3sl-Xfr1UIyGWE

I will slap whoever told my stepdad that the poles powering this street won't be fixed until JUNE.

Don't even JOKE ABOUT THAT.

Unrelated to last toot: I still feel like an outlier in these social media on account of my inability to shitpost. All I know is how not to be an asshole.

I blame Asperger's. :V

Tired of not having electricity.

Tired of the power company focusing on malls and shit just to pretend the island is doing alright.

It's been well over two months. This is a US territory. Why is a major chunk of the island still in the dark.

O-kayyyy... Note to self: Once I start posting finished pics over here, skip Patreon and go with Ko-Fi.

More practice stuff. Still need to design their tattoos (bottom-left's supposed to be covered in 'em). I'll post proper finished stuff here someday.

Marked sensitive for nudity.

#art #mastoart

Someday I'll have more interesting stuff to toot, art and otherwise.

Someday I'll also have electricity in my home instead of hopelessly waiting for the electric company to get their shit together and remember this neighborhood's existence.

Neither of these days will be arriving anytime soon.

One day I'm gonna post something that *isn't* practice. That'll have to wait until the lights come back (two months after hurricane Maria and we're still dark. because Puerto Rico).

Marked sensitive for nudity.